Saturday, September 29, 2007

Saturblog

This was going to be an incredibly amazing post, but due to a major hiccup in blogger's photo-uploading machinery my will to make this great has dwindled. Here are some pics with greatly reduced commentaries.


Nana sent us a magical statue to help sell our house. Just before it arrived in the mail we actually did? Coincidence? Lucie sure thinks so.


The recent lar, gar, and brook visit was most awesome. This is part one of a Garth Brooks series.


Part two.


Part three.


The cover of brook's forthcoming rap album.


Red Rocks for Arcade Fire and LCD Soundsystem.


Poster seen at said concert venue. Notice who opened for a little band called les échantillons.


Also seen: this beaute of ozzy as a scary beast. blurriness detracting from amazingness.


This was meant to capture both gar and me, but somehow it does not.


LCD Soundsystem whose highlight was the short shorts on the drummer.


Arcade Fire. This looks a lot like LCD Soundsystem, but they did not at the time.


Brook is ready to rock. Or overthrow a ruthless dictator.


Gar is ready to Party. Or Garty. Ok. The gar references need to stop. The boy has a name. [open window in storm a la neverending story] "RRRRRRRYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


Main drain. heh-heh. Urology. [clears throat]


Lucie playing on a large representation of bacon. I apologize to all once and future vegans.


Lucie grew to enormous proportions at Target the other night.


Can't wait for halloween. Lucie tried on the Attack-dog costume.


Lauren thought it would be appropriate to dress lucie up in double-underwear and sunglasses. It totally was.


Lar-lar binks in the hizzy.


More extra-underwear shots.


Kelloggs, please make my check out to Joshua D. Holyoak.


Gar palates some thai food.


Seen in a textbook. How does one let this happen? I apologize for this photo.


"Are you my mommy?" This cuteness should make up for the neck mass. If not, make sure and go back up to get another good look at it.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Saving Private Gar

Watched that today for the first time all the way through: holy crap. Old Stevie sure knows what he's doing, doesn't he? I'm just hoping Indiana Jones and the Cheesiest Title Ever doesn't ruin his streak.

Garbies, Browhawk and Lar-lar recently visited and it was so great. The only part that blew, and blew hard, was a missed lunch date foiled by my meaningless presence in the operating room.

Gar also informed me that if I don't specifically mention it here, he will never look at holyoak.net. Consider it mentioned. A major face lift has recently occurred.

Why is it that I get so stressed out about new rotations? I have been told multiple times that the rotation I'm about to begin is a relatively "cush" one, yet my bowels are churning like I've got me some C. Diff. Not literally mind you, for those of you who just became physically ill.

Alright, go check out holyoak.net. I've put too much effort into it to do much here today.

Peace.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

narcisismsimsicismsmcmimsm

I hate spelling.

SO...(this blog should be called "so...") I was googling myself, as I'm wont to do, and came upon this strangeness. Does anyone know who this person is? Even more pressing, is there anyone who can explain why I'm listed as one of his musical interests?!?

Does anybody else sing Rock the Cazbah with the words "Lock the Taskbar" every time they play with windows? Cause I sure do. Of course, I also sing "I can't go for that," by Hall & Oats everytime I see the non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug, Diclofenac.

Garby's and Brohawk will be here in tres dias! And then La-la shortly thereafter! It will be a weekend to remember. I think I might be sick on Monday.

And, to follow off of gar's concert theme, Curse you Interpol for being so awesome yet scheduling a date in Denver on a Sunday! A friend said, "what does that matter, it's not like you drink so you can stay up and party all night." Helas, I must refer said friend to the...one second, googling the 10 commandments...4th commandment, and more specifically to the Mormon interpretation of said commandment.

I don't put many pics on this here blog anymore. How bout a little picstravaganza:

Where I'm spending my days (and some of my nights).


The world's tallest building currently under construction in Dubai, and currently causing me some diffuse axonal injury.


I have one of these [huge grin].

This guy...

Is coming here...

On this dude's...

birthday.

Mmm...corn.

Ok, that was exhausting. No wonder I don't put pics up very often.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

stuff

Whether or not you agree with the message, I defy anyone not to be blown away by this guy.

It is astounding to me that I somehow managed to make it through 4 years of college, 4 years of medical school, and 3 months of urology before noticing that adrenaline and epinephrine (which, incidentally are the same thing) are named very obviously. The hormone comes from the adrenal glands [DURRR!!!] which are epi-(on top of) nephric (kidneys) [double durrr!!!!] I wonder what other obvious names I haven't noticed yet.

Lastly, you heard it hear first (what a nice phrase): There will be a touch-screen iPod announcement tomorrow.

Curse you, APPLE!!! Why must you torture me so with your wildly fanciful offerings?!?

Ok, REALLY lastly: Lucie has recently discoverd music. It is so sweet.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Homer meets Darwin

Now this is awesome:

Thursday, August 30, 2007

awn kahl

Anyone care for a dose of the heebeegeebees? Try this. Yuck.

I played/play way too much nintendo as a kid/adult. I have recently noticed that whenever I am given some bad news that is not terribly serious, my mind plays out the sound of mario (or luigi, or the princess, or mr. toadstool) dying from Super Mario Brothers 2. Example: Put dollar bill into vending machine, choose twizzlers, twizzlers get stuck: "Do do-do do-do."

In other news...oh wait, I'm sorry...did we just bump shoes? Excuse me, I have a wide stance when I blog.

Last night whilst on call the following things happened, in order of ascending awesomeness:

1. Called to patients bedside at 2 a.m. because a nurse was worried about poor urine output. After seeing the patient and writing most of a note it was discovered that the tech had emptied the urinal without the nurse knowing and the patient's urine output had, in fact, been stellar.

2. Discovered a row of vending machines that work with a credit card allowing multiple purchases per swipe; spent 5% of this month's paycheck on skittles, gross coconut doughnuts, and cheez-its.

3. Wore an array of not 3, not 4, not 5, but 6 pagers at one time, each with it's own equally obnoxious melody. One, however, was pretty sweet. After about the 5th beep, I realized that it was a robot-cadence version of "starry, starry night," by Don McLean.

4. Heard the first non-sir mix-a-lot usage of the word "anaconda" in reference to my subspecialty's "sub-specialty."

5. While attempting to turn a drunken patient onto his back I placed my hand into a pool of said patients urine.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

as long as i'm having my mind blown out of my calvarium...












your patience will be rewarded with a Police rip-off including the lyrics, "repeat my lights sequentially!"

inspired by napalm

A strange sesame street skit on tarsky's blog, which I don't remember seeing as a child, gave impetus to a youtube search for something that I have longed for since the dawn of time. Well, at least since about 1995. I cannot believe that i found it!

Check it:


My high school band and half of my credit card passwords come from this clip! What a trip. Oops, I let a rhyme slip. Ha, what a quip! I am a dip. [AHHHHHH!!! I'M GETTING SUCKED IN!!! THE SESAME VORTEX HAS GOT ME!!!!!]

Sunday, August 19, 2007

classic josh move

after working on my upcoming presentation for a significant amount of time, I found myself diverted into a little photoshopping to add some much-needed humor to an otherwise "just-the-facts-ma'am" keynote.

I found this ridiculous thing on the internet (It's not mine, I swear):


And turned it into this:


Are there people out there who get paid for this sort of thing? And if so, is it too late to switch over to such a career path?

Gar's continuing belated birthday extravaganza

It's still within gar's birthweek so I can continue to celebrate. The following pitures are, in fact, the oldest and most recent photos, respectively, that I have of my brother. Besides, being kind of sad that the most recent shot I have of him is from January, it is mind boggling that he is making the SAME FACE!!!! Check it:





"Don't go changin' to try to please me...[saxophone solo]"

P.S. As a half-arsed b-day present, I will not buy for you, but will encourage you nonetheless to read this month's SPIN magazine's INTERPOL interview. It is thoroughly enlightening.

Friday, August 17, 2007

magic baby


Sure, it was cute when she summoned a rainbow, but it got scary when she starting shooting lightning out of her eyes.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

218 cm !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot stop laughing.

GARBS!


Happy B to the D, broheim! In honor of this significant milestone, I will stay up all night worried about sick people.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Go LEPERS!!! I Mean...LEOPARDS!!!

Guess this beats being famous for the whole gay club thing. No, wait...I don't think it does.

a propos

nit·pick [nit-pik]
–verb (used without object) 1. to be excessively concerned with or critical of inconsequential details.
–verb (used with object) 2. to criticize by focusing on inconsequential details.
–noun 3. a carping, petty criticism.
–adjective 4. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a nitpicker or nitpicking.

Also, nit-pick.


p.s. somebody wasn't happy with my inability to spell this word. Any for for a steamy, thick slice of irony? [clears throat] "PETER!"

Saturday, August 11, 2007

continuing to knit pick

there's a "to" in the last post that should be a "too."

In reference to the same pink shirt I was wearing yesterday, an old dude said "hey, you're wearing a girl's shirt."

Friday, August 10, 2007

nit (knit?) picking

First of all, check this out, it's just awesome.

So, today I's a walkin' with a good friend who complimented my shirt (I'm all dressed up on account of a conference) and I said, "don't look to close, it hasn't been wrinkled in a while." Nice...

The other day I was reading a report by another doctor and he was trying to describe the location of a lesion using the old clock face description. Except he wrote, "there is a nodule at 1 p.m."


If there is a corner of hell for people who spent their entire lives pointing out flaws, I'll let you know.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

I.A.

You know what bugs me? Besides Tyra Banks and Nancy Gray? Inappropriate abbreviations. In the field of medicine I am faced with this a lot. Let me try to remember some of my unfavorites.

RTC ("round the clock" meant to imply that something should be done all day long. Shouldn't it be A-round the clock? "Round" should only be used as a preposition in christmas songs.)

Tx, Dx, Sx, Fx, etc (basically, take any word and use only the first letter plus x. Everybody else is left to telepathically infer your meaning. All of them are variable. It's not like Dx always means diagnosis. It also means disease. Sx can be for symptoms or surgeries. You catch my drift. Fx Ax!!!)

Now I'm really bugged because I started this post with one particular abbrev. in mind that was particularly annoying because the abbreviation takes longer to say than the word it's replacing, but of course now I can't remember what it was. 5 free iTunes songs to whoever lists one first.


Now, in response to the commentary of the last post, re: names. Tarsky, you got me all a-laughin' with the 6 degrees of kevin bacon. But the strange thing was I had already dreamed up an awesome cd mix-tape challenge earlier that day. Here's what's what: I give you two artists, say...Guns N Roses (that's just one artist so far, for all of you non gnr fans) and the Samples. And your job is to connect the two in a mix tape with the following rules. Each consecutive song must be related to the last in an alternating fashion as follows: Song by the artist, song by another artist with at least one word in the title (besides a, the, an, etc) in common with the last song, another song by the same artist, then another song by another artist again with a title word in common with the last and so on, and so forth. That's confusing I realize, so let me demonstrate.

Guns N Roses, sweet child of mine, Neil Young - I am a child, Neil Young - harvest moon, The Police - Walking on the moon, The Police - Every Breath You Take, Dixie Chicks - Cowboy Take me Away, Dixie Chicks - Not Ready to Make Nice, The Samples - Did you ever look so Nice.

Now, no credit is given if iTunes is used in assembling the list (like I just did), however extra credit is given for making the connection in fewer steps. I realize that I could have just let you go song to song without making you use two from each artist, but this makes it more complex and interesting, no?

Alright, here is the challenge: M.C. Hammer to Sarah McLachlin.

He (or she) who get's it in the fewest steps will win another 5 iTunes songs. (who am i kidding, pete is the only one who may POSSIBLY even respond to this...[secret psychological tactics at play here]).

p.s. I just ate an orange swedish fish candy that tasted like Comet Cleanser (this smell is a registered trademark of Josh's Entire Childhood), so if I start to slduflurrrr my spehsdlhc;haeeecdh, you'rlllll undrerjstsandnd hnwyyywhyyyydlsh.

Post P.S. Addendum:
Picture pages picture pages...(random bill cosby images should flash across your brain. And possibly a strangely large marker)

On the back of a package of gummy bears I recently injested. Should I be worried?


As depressing as it is for me to add pictures of work (or to even THINK about work whilst enjoying an evening at home) I've been catching some sweet sunrises lately.


Lucie loves straws. She's mutilating one in this pic.


This is still funny to me.


Just cause she's cute and far away. (mel and luce are in DC for the week)


I know I shouldn't mock this, but come on...This is a poster to help people identify what sexual HARRIS-ment is. (NOT her-ass-ment)


Can't tell, but this is a pic of a whole strip of shops called "Fred's Meats", "Pete's Pizza", and "Pete's [something else]." I'll have to get a better pic.

Excuse me, Mr. Adam Duritz: It is not necessary to obscure every living semblance of the original melody and/or cadence when singing your songs live.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Englebert Humperdink

So my name is Josh. Hopefully you knew that. Strangely enough, however, if one were to look at my birth certificate one would see that my name is actually two letters longer. Joshua is my real name. But, as a testament to how little I associate myself with that name, behold the following story.
The username that was assigned to me for the 'puters at work is Joshua1. Everytime I type that in, instead of thinking, "oh look, self, there's your name again," it is so foreign that I think rather of the 80's movie Wargames. If this reference is lost on you, please immediately tab over to netflix, sign-up if necessary, and rent that awesome film. Be prepared for some annoying Ally Sheady-ness, but some totally sweet flying pterydactyls.

Sticking with this innominate theme, check this action out. So I am frequently, nay...always spelling my name for people who, at the sound of it completely lose their ability for rational thought and often respond, "whoa...what the heck kind of name is that?" To which I'm apt to reply, "hey dumbass, it's two english words. Open your eye-holes." So anyways...the real story is a funny little quirk about it's spelling. I'll be spelling it out for them...real slow-like...and I finish "o-a-k." And they inevitably respond. "o-k." This leaves me horrifically perplexed. Are they indicating their comprehension of it's spelling? Or did they, in a feat of increasingly astounding lameheadedness, mispelling my name "holyok."

Ok. I'm off to read about the bladder. I know, I know...you're all jealous. Just wait till you need a TURBT! You'll wish you'd sat alone in a stuffy room at an eery hospital reading urology textbooks instead of relaxing at home with the family sipping cranberry juice and eating mike & ike's. You'll be sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!