old blog's never die...

Wow, i feel guilty about this blog like it's a pet that I only feed once a week. Oh, wait, that happens in real life, too.
Anywho, keeping with the theme of hebdomadal posts, I'm going to make this one count.
First of all, look what happens when people stop being polite, and start being real. And are given camera phones:

My cat attempted to jump farther from me by getting a little extra traction with her rear paws. I think it worked.


Exhibit B, same story.


More hair means more opportunities to mess with it!


Garbs! It was a sign!


My baby doesn't just sleep anywhere. Puttin' on the ritz...quite literally. Well, not literally. Whatever.


GOSH! WHAT AN AWESOME DEAL! It's actually MORE than the regular price!!! Thanks, Target! EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!


Cleverly cynical (or cynically clever?) spin on the rah-rah Baltimore stickers that normally say BELIEVE.


The obligatory messy eater pics have started already.


Ok, now part II of this post: gripping stories that you'll want to pass on to your friends.

The other day I went into a gas station to get money from an ATM so that I might enjoy even greater fees than I'm used to. As I was exiting, one of the workers stopped me and asked, "What do you think is the most important quality in other people, like your friends, or acquaintances?" Somewhat baffled, I mumbled, "Huh? Uh...well...I guess, honesty." To which he replied, "Would it surprise you to know that 9 out of 10 customers that I ask answer with 'honesty?'" "Yes," i said. I'm pretty sure he was an angelic messenger. That, or a big weirdo.

I had multiple other stories that I thought I would put here today, but my brain is a vast wasteland.

For a good time, check out my 10-year high school reunion webpage. The "then-and-now" pics are seldom actually then-and-now pics, but worth a look anyway.

so great

Check out cnn.com and watch the video: Famous Flinches.

Classic.

drum roll

So we're off to Denver! Showing off Lucie at yesterday's match day ceremony got us into not one, but two newspapers:
The Baltimore Examiner

and

The Baltimore Sun
(click on the link to the right that says "getting into medical school." Although I'm not sure why it says that.

It was an incredibly nerve-racking day, but the final result was good news. Colorado here we come!

Fair Trade

Goodbye:





Hello:





Actually, it looks more like this:




It was quite an adventure picking this beauty up last night. Melissa was stuck in traffic and we had to RACE up to northern Baltimore to get to carmax before it closed. We bought the car in about 15 minutes. Bet you haven't done that before. Seriously, it is a pimp ride. I dare you to come out you will be converted to minivan-hood...dom...ness.

Wildest dreams

When the world is running down you make the best of what's still around. And what is still around? THE POLICE!!! If you didn't catch their mind-blowing, dream-fulfilling extravaganza at the grammys, come to my house and I'll show you.


That's right folks, the POLICE ARE BACK TOGETHER!!! I'm just giddy. I'm so giddy that it took my 4 days to blog about this. 28 North American Tour Dates Planned. 17 Unecessary Capitalizations in THis POsT. I will be at > or = to one of those shows!!! Josh's dreams are coming true.

Now if I could just get a job.

Obviously

This is just too easy.

Gratuitously Cute Baby Pic of the Day

Oui oui oui. Mais non, je ne suis pas la poubelle du monde! Je suis le plus belle du monde.

Wow, she's really starting to look like me

P.S. She just got her first 2 teeth! (they're on the bottom) I'm so proud.

Amazing

risky business

I found the following 2 entries randomly the other night. The second one needs no intro. This one is the world's most awkward/inappropriate intro to a rock concert. It's awesome.



Silly Brits.

A man's car is the whole trip sometimes

Deverse Rescrimination

So I'm down to tha Target yesterday to purchase something for my baby (who is currently tripping out). I've gotten fairly used to being the only dude in the store who is alone with a baby in a car seat. But my patience ran thin when I saw [something like] the following on a product I was considering purchasing:

"Moms who know use [blah blah blah]"

Well, what the hell about Dads who know?!??! Sometimes fathers purchase things for their children as well. They even care for them! If you prick us, do we not bleed? (What is that from anyway? Shakespeare? A movie? Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame?)

Yeah.

So anyway, I'm quite jealous of Gar and Bro who are currently chilling South of the Border. Taco Bell sounds quite good actually. But only a few more days.

Also, Gar has sadly left the race of the beards, but I'm still a-truckin'. See the following.

Yikes.

holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap

Behold:



iPod+Phone+WiFi+Bluetooth+2MP Camera+OS X

But before you get too excited, it's not available till June. So much for blowing everyone's mind on the cruise. At least I can still talk about it. And dream about it.

[drool...salivate...]

P.S. The listing of features above is but a cursory review. To have your mind blown all over whatever room you're in, go to apple.com and you will see why over 200 patents were filed in making this thing. NUTS, people. NUTS!

becoming the machinist

It is 12:56 a.m.

I just did 2 stupid things:
1. Drank one extra-large Diet Pepsi from Taco Bell.
2. Watched Steven Spielberg's Munich.

These two things have combined to place me in a state of paranoid sleepless stupor (see fig 1.1)

fig 1.1

I also did something which feels like a step in the right direction, but only time will tell if it was worthwhile. I spent $150.00 on half.com buying the 4 textbooks that my chairman of surgery said that every good intern should have read. I also bought House of God by Samuel Shem because I think I unwittingly quote it daily and I would like to know just which parts of my quotidian vocabulary are lifted from it's pages.

If you'd like to know what the other 4 textbooks were...ask me when you're older.

It is now 1:01 a.m. The song Biological by Air is currently playing on my iMac. I'm not normally a big Air fan, but this song seems perfectly appropriate for how I'm feeling.

I'm still not tired. Should I play World of Warcraft, or go stare at my projected ceiling clock?

I can't get Eric Bana's pained face out of my brain.

I'm stopping this post before it gets really out of hand.

It's time to get rid of the woobie

So, you'd think that with the ridiculous amounts of free time I'm currently experiencing that I'd be blogging up a perfect storm. However if you actually did think that, you wouldn't be taking into account the fact that my life has been taken over by a game. Not just any game mind you, but the sweetest game I've ever played. Here are some examples of it's awesomeness:

gar and I after decimating some dudes. Well, he decimated, I watched.

In my cool new outfit.

At least I can get some medical thoughts in there once in a while.

Gosh, we look neato.

This place is perty.

Name that movie.

Still, even the coolest of games is still a game, and spending most or all of one's time playing it is pretty pathetic. Which is why I'm announcing my new years resolution: I will quit playing World of Warcraft this year.

In the meantime, I'm doing my best to turn into Mr. Mom:

"You're slipping, Jack..."

Best quote ever.

This post was also going to be about me losing touch with my homies, but Pete just commented on my last post so now I know he is not actually dead. Sorry dude, I have been on another planet. Figuratively. We should talk soon. Seriously, there are things that...need to be said.
Just kidding. But I miss you, man!

Roberto, what's up with not updating your site? You tell me there's going to be a new pic on there with a certain high school memory-inspiring shot, but nothing!?!?

Eric, how the snap are you? I do read your blog regularly, and I'm a big fan of the beard/fauxhawk.

Connor, you never read this, so I can call you an idiot if I want. Course, we both know that's not true. Love ya, man!


My child just relieved herself in such a fashion as to be audible over the baby monitor. Awesome.
Yesterday, she had this b-to-the-m...it was epic. One for the ages.

Ok, now that you're thoroughly disgusted, I will remind you how awesome my baby is!

SO CUUUUUUUTE!!! (if you could hear how I say that, you'd vomit)
Peace out.

P.S. Cruise in <2 wks.
P.P.S. Apple convention and accompanying announcements in 3 days!!! Super iPod, anyone?

...warm picnic...

how cool are we.

Contest

ANNOUNCING the 1st Quasi-Annual Pre-Cruise Facial Hair Contest. Ok, so bill's got a bit of a head start, but I think we can all come up with something novel. Anyone who will be on the cruise may enter. Here's what I've got going on so far:

The facial hair will be judged by an independent review committee at the start of the cruise. It will be judged on Awesomeness, Control, Shamefulness, and Poise.

Gentleman (and ladies?!) Start your follicles!!!

Mr. Mom: this is the bomb.

Christmas came and went in a flurry. Or with a fury. Something like that. A great time was had by me, on the whole, and I can't believe I'm back home again. Side note: there is nothing like vacationing to make one appreciate one's home. I love my house. I really don't want to move. Can't everyone I care about just move out here?
2 nights ago I dreamt that I bit my black cat's head off. Then a doctor tried to put it out of it's misery, because of course it was still alive, and he did so by pouring 1 liter of diet coke down it's neck. Of course, the cat's body had now become transparent and I could see the diet coke causing his heart to go into failure. But the cat wasn't dying and I kept trying to think of a good reason why I bit her head off, but there wasn't one. [cukoo!]

Staying home with a baby is so awesome for the following reasons:
1) I never have to shower
2) I never have to shave
3) When she's asleep, I can do ANYTHING!
4) See reasons 1 through 3.

Also of note, being sick is a nightmare. I don't remember being this sick for a long time. It is miserable. Scratch that, I am miserable. It came to a climax on Christmas, quite fittingly, and it seems to be settling down now.

And now for some pictures:

***NEW & IMPROVED Baby Sit-up Chair! Now you can place your infant in a room and FORGET ABOUT THEM!

Lucie loves Roberto

Gar took one look at this pic and then did the following:

Gorgeous.

My child hates Satan...I mean Santa. Well, I guess both, maybe? Yikes, I'll stop now.

Here is what sickness looks like.

Brook spelled without an E remained calm while Gar went LOCO.

Poor Fat Christmas Lucie pinned in her sit-up chair.

Lucie opens a present! It was a book by madonna, and signed by Madonna(?!?)

Just don't ask. Ok, ask. So this is me working on a star wars Lego Set graciously bestowed upon me by my mother-in-law. You may also notice that I have an LED headlamp on and that I'm delirious with sickness and fatigue.

This is what happens when I leave my camera out.

This is what happens when babies drink Red Bull. P.S. This pic was taken at 2 in the a.m.

P.P.S. Just kidding about the red bull.

P.P.P.S. The baby is awake [three dots in a triangle] this post is over.

Did somebody say Pulitzer?

Geez, I wish I'd thought of something meaningful to say: Front Page of today's Deseret News.

uhh...what?

Weirdest story of the week.