awn kahl

Anyone care for a dose of the heebeegeebees? Try this. Yuck.

I played/play way too much nintendo as a kid/adult. I have recently noticed that whenever I am given some bad news that is not terribly serious, my mind plays out the sound of mario (or luigi, or the princess, or mr. toadstool) dying from Super Mario Brothers 2. Example: Put dollar bill into vending machine, choose twizzlers, twizzlers get stuck: "Do do-do do-do."

In other news...oh wait, I'm sorry...did we just bump shoes? Excuse me, I have a wide stance when I blog.

Last night whilst on call the following things happened, in order of ascending awesomeness:

1. Called to patients bedside at 2 a.m. because a nurse was worried about poor urine output. After seeing the patient and writing most of a note it was discovered that the tech had emptied the urinal without the nurse knowing and the patient's urine output had, in fact, been stellar.

2. Discovered a row of vending machines that work with a credit card allowing multiple purchases per swipe; spent 5% of this month's paycheck on skittles, gross coconut doughnuts, and cheez-its.

3. Wore an array of not 3, not 4, not 5, but 6 pagers at one time, each with it's own equally obnoxious melody. One, however, was pretty sweet. After about the 5th beep, I realized that it was a robot-cadence version of "starry, starry night," by Don McLean.

4. Heard the first non-sir mix-a-lot usage of the word "anaconda" in reference to my subspecialty's "sub-specialty."

5. While attempting to turn a drunken patient onto his back I placed my hand into a pool of said patients urine.

as long as i'm having my mind blown out of my calvarium...

your patience will be rewarded with a Police rip-off including the lyrics, "repeat my lights sequentially!"

inspired by napalm

A strange sesame street skit on tarsky's blog, which I don't remember seeing as a child, gave impetus to a youtube search for something that I have longed for since the dawn of time. Well, at least since about 1995. I cannot believe that i found it!

Check it:


My high school band and half of my credit card passwords come from this clip! What a trip. Oops, I let a rhyme slip. Ha, what a quip! I am a dip. [AHHHHHH!!! I'M GETTING SUCKED IN!!! THE SESAME VORTEX HAS GOT ME!!!!!]

classic josh move

after working on my upcoming presentation for a significant amount of time, I found myself diverted into a little photoshopping to add some much-needed humor to an otherwise "just-the-facts-ma'am" keynote.

I found this ridiculous thing on the internet (It's not mine, I swear):


And turned it into this:


Are there people out there who get paid for this sort of thing? And if so, is it too late to switch over to such a career path?

Gar's continuing belated birthday extravaganza

It's still within gar's birthweek so I can continue to celebrate. The following pitures are, in fact, the oldest and most recent photos, respectively, that I have of my brother. Besides, being kind of sad that the most recent shot I have of him is from January, it is mind boggling that he is making the SAME FACE!!!! Check it:





"Don't go changin' to try to please me...[saxophone solo]"

P.S. As a half-arsed b-day present, I will not buy for you, but will encourage you nonetheless to read this month's SPIN magazine's INTERPOL interview. It is thoroughly enlightening.

magic baby

Sure, it was cute when she summoned a rainbow, but it got scary when she starting shooting lightning out of her eyes.

218 cm !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot stop laughing.

GARBS!

Happy B to the D, broheim! In honor of this significant milestone, I will stay up all night worried about sick people.

Go LEPERS!!! I Mean...LEOPARDS!!!

Guess this beats being famous for the whole gay club thing. No, wait...I don't think it does.

a propos

nit·pick [nit-pik]
–verb (used without object) 1. to be excessively concerned with or critical of inconsequential details.
–verb (used with object) 2. to criticize by focusing on inconsequential details.
–noun 3. a carping, petty criticism.
–adjective 4. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a nitpicker or nitpicking.

Also, nit-pick.


p.s. somebody wasn't happy with my inability to spell this word. Any for for a steamy, thick slice of irony? [clears throat] "PETER!"

continuing to knit pick

there's a "to" in the last post that should be a "too."

In reference to the same pink shirt I was wearing yesterday, an old dude said "hey, you're wearing a girl's shirt."

nit (knit?) picking

First of all, check this out, it's just awesome.

So, today I's a walkin' with a good friend who complimented my shirt (I'm all dressed up on account of a conference) and I said, "don't look to close, it hasn't been wrinkled in a while." Nice...

The other day I was reading a report by another doctor and he was trying to describe the location of a lesion using the old clock face description. Except he wrote, "there is a nodule at 1 p.m."


If there is a corner of hell for people who spent their entire lives pointing out flaws, I'll let you know.