wow wow wow wow wow

Let's forget for a moment that the middle east is disintegrating into armageddon as we speak and talk about things that don't matter.

2nd coolest picture in the history of this blog:



Coolest picture in the history of this blog:


Megan made some new friends in Gibraltar. I need to go there! Although something tells me that having a monkey's butt on your head isn't as cool as it would seem.

So, I did something really stupid that I've done multiple times before. I got SUPER-UBER-MEGA-ULTRA-excited for a new movie to come out. So excited, that I watched every snippet that was dispersed in any dark corner of cyberspace before the movie was even released. I also got my hopes up so high that the movie could never quite measure up to my expectations. I had previously done this with Star Wars episodes II and III, and the Matrix trilogy. This time I totally did it for Superman Returns. Last night we went to the 10:00 showing (I was among the first people in the WORLD to see this picture: hooray Eastern Standard Time). And then something happened.
The impossible, some might say...
The movie EXCEEDED my unbelievably unreasonable expectations!!! Holy crap on a stick!!! I sat through the first 20 minutes with a giant shit-eating grin on my face. The movie was incredible. Now that I've ruined all of your expectations...
Seriously, I better stop before I start my own religion here. But it ruled. The effects in the plane sequence are so damn mind-blowingly realistic and sweet...

Ok, shake it off, shake it off...

In other news, I sold about 200 cds today in order to afford a sweet new camera. The dude who bought them (through craigslist) came to my house in an escalade and paid with cash. Then he handed me 3 cds and said, "here, just to say thanks. I think you'll like these." The world must be about to end. Or he's a rapist. He might even be The rapist. Or maybe just a therapist.

In order to balance out my state of ecstasy I went in for a dental cleaning today. Maybe it's just cause it's been a while but this was like no other torture I'd ever endured. I think I would rather break my arms again. It was AGONIZING! And the lady just kept saying: "OPEN BIGGAH, OPEN BIGGAH." Not fun.

Ok. Everybody go see Superman now. you'll understand.

Peace out.

Holy shite, rain...enough already!

It turns out that vacation is only so fun when you are alone. My current feelings expressed through the majesty of song. I went to 7 or 8 stores today looking for some way to get my iPod to sit exactly where and how I want it in my car. I was not very successful.
And this rain! I mean, COME ON! What's the friggin' deal! I'm beginning to feel like I need to repent or something! Tomorrow night is Ben Folds at Merriweather and I wasn't smart enough to spring for the covered seats so I'm looking forward to an evening of mudslides and spilt beer.
Rob, you better get your ass up here soon.
At least I was able to find a game for my mac...no wait, I didn't actually ever find one...oh yeah, I was forced to go to my local dork-fest gamer's retail store and listen to "hey man, I'm really super sorry about not telling you about the extra-double-early-sneak peek of Superman tonight. I'll buy you a ticket for tomorrow's show if you'll still be my friend." The general lameness of the discussions in said store was only rivaled by the fact that none of the nerdworthy news was actually news to me.
Also, being a parsimonious son of a biznatch, I only allowed myself to purchase a discount used game. Upon arriving home I discovered that the game had been used on a circular sander to smooth out someone's chainsaw carving of YOUR MOM.
The poor sickeningly-hirsute bastard that rung up my order asked if I wanted to join the game-club and when I replied in the negative, he couldn't help himself from pointing out the multitudinous ways in which I was depriving myself of eternal glory by not taking part in it. He TOTALLY made up for it by replying to my "thanks" with "Party on."
I will now go upstairs and whimper as I kill some Vice City citizens all by myself. (this post turned out to be quite annular, now didn't it?)

Noah...it's the Lord.

3 days straight.
37 to go.

boredomdydomdom

So everyday on my last rotation we got a list of patients. The logo at the top of the list looks like this:

After a day or so, I would get bored during rounds and started doodling. It started off pretty bland:

Just made the leg hairy.
By the end I wasn't even listening to rounds:

Unfortunately, I thoughtlessly threw away all of the other masterpieces. Only this one survived.

Do you remember that scene in scanners when the dude's head exploded?

Now that I have 3.7 seconds of free time, I'm back to scanning the 9 billion photos in our house. These are my favorites of the last batch.

Nice juxtaposition, no? It has a pulchritudinous quality to it, I think.

You'll find this on page 4 of your humor manuals under "what to do in a museum."

Melissa and I were heading back from Disneyland Paris and we had bought these enormous playing cards. Melissa struck up a game with this little boy and he was obviously enjoying himself. The lady in the background is either his guardian or kidnapper.

That's so hot

In my continuing bid to fit every possible young female american icon into my r.e.m.'s, Paris Hilton was hanging out with me in my dream two nights ago. Sadly, "Erkdorff, bringer of doom" was not present*.

*speculated celebrity dog name.

Clueless

Most recent addition to the list of human beings who are COMPLETELY out of touch with reality: David Hasselhoff. Check out his interview on CNN.com. Man, I thought Britney on Matt Lauer was bad.

Note to self: check weather before attempting cycling. 96 degrees + totally deconditioned body = near death experience.

so tired

stayed up late watching Miami finally win.  It was great, but now I am worthless.  Everyone was annoying today.  I need to nap so that I can later function.  One more day of neuro, then the test, then it will be that glorious time of vacation.  Sure it's only for 2 weeks and will be followed by the most stressful 5 months of my life, but I will enjoy it while it lasts.
P.S. Nothing exciting to say = sorry.  [trombone] wah wah wah wahhhhhhhhhh.

the dreaming tree

Last night it was about Britney Spears.

No...not that Britney Spears.

This Britney Spears.
Anyway, we were just chatting and I managed to convince her that we could be good friends.
It was pretty cool. Stay tuned for the next in this continuing series of Celebrity Dreams (R).

P.S. Anyone who attempts to search for Britney Spears on google should be prepared for an onslaught of "yikes."

Happy Father's Day!

Double post

This pic joins the illustrious few that has made it onto both blogs. It is evidence of my recent dorkfest. The big block of missing pennies is 1982. I actually have a ton of 1982 pennies, but you can only tell the different ones by weighing them. Those mint bastards really made it a rough year for numismatists like myself. Here's a pertinent snippet "borrowed" from wikipedia:

"In 1982, the coin's composition changed again to copper-plated zinc. These coins, which are still being produced today, contain 97.6 % zinc and 2.4 % copper. This coin is identical in size and appearance to the predominantly copper cent issued before 1982, but this modification saves the Government an estimated $25 million in metal costs every year. Pennies made prior to 1982 make a distinctive ringing noise when dropped on a hard surface due to their composition, while post-1982 pennies make a dull thud. The zinc core can be readily seen if the copper plating is abraded or otherwise scraped off. It might be noted that the post-1982 pennies are much more susceptible to corrosion and pitting than those made prior to 1982. Many collectors lament that even perfectly preserved post-1982 pennies protected in Mint sets have begun tarnishing, developing bubbles beneath the copper coating's surface, or even corroding."

Whoa, you're still reading? Geez: loser.
P.S. The astute reader will notice from the pic that I am also missing the 1981 Denver penny. The fact that 5.4 billion (with a "B") were made doesn't make me feel inept at all. Anybody who finds one and sends it to me will win my undying admiration and, perhaps, an iTunes song. The race is on!

BUSTED!!!

Wanna see some cool pictures?


The District of Columbia sent me these nice shots.
I think it was just one of those notes to say, "Hey sir, nice car! Have a nice day."
What a great country.

Nightmare log: Stardate 6/12/06

I'm late for school so this shall be brief. Melissa had "procured" for me a whole bunch of animals from the zoo as a birthday or anniversary present. There was a gorilla, a small tiger, a smallish lion, 3 giraffes, and then some imposter black cat. One of the black cats (either mine or the imposter) gave birth to a disgusting mass of placenta and kittens. I couldn't get a hold of Melissa and I was freaking out about how to get the animals back to the zoo. I only had a Chrysler 300. Melissa had "our truck" and that was how she was able to get the giraffes. Although this dream sounds very whimsical now, it was horribly distressing. I also was trying to convince Connor and Pete to come watch a movie or game or something at "the house where my OB rotation was." Which makes no sense.

and we're living here in Allentown

Shall we document yesterday's pennsylvania trip? Let's!

The trip started like this. Basically a lot of driving and nail filing.

Of note, this blimp was spotted. It was moving up and down like an old-timey boat which gave it a very surreal feel. Also, we were in the middle of nowhere, so what the heck was it doing?!?

We stopped at this mom & pop ice cream shack. There was no public entrance and hence no bathroom to be had. But we did get some HUGE ice cream from the front windows. The best part was when the clerk opened the screen door to take my order and then closed it again to make the ice cream. Not quite sure what that accomplished. Maybe he wanted to make sure that my order didn't have to pass through the symbolic filter of mesh.

Then the roads started to look a lot like this:

and this.

Oh, and this, too. Geez, enough with the beautiful scenery already.

Just before we arrived at our destination it looked like this.

We made a wrong turn and ended up on Dairy Lane. Clever name.

Finally we arrived at this mind-blowing farm wherein the wedding was to take place. We felt frightened and confused until Uzo and Alyssa spotted us. They would remain our constant companions for the remainder of the evening, whether they liked it or not.

This is where the ceremony was. It felt like something out of a hugh grant movie. Very picturesque, romantic. And british.

Just before the wedding happened a wild turkey walked by. Those 7 dark pixels in the middle are a turkey. You're just going to have to trust me.

Then the magic happened. Seriously, it was a beautiful ceremony. Afterwards everybody went up and threw rose petals into the river. Melissa gave me that "we didn't throw rose petals at our wedding" look. And I felt shame.

We went and stole some corn afterwards. Note the pinkness of my shirt.

The party favors were these great stilts. Everyone fumbled around on them the rest of the evening. It was great.

Then this happened. Everybody go: "awwwww."

Much delicious food was eaten. And those totally sweet pink glasses were the real favors. At least I hope they were. Cause we sure took a couple of them. And some silverware. Ok, and a plate or 2.

Uzo was seriously moved by the speeches. Weren't we all?

When it got dark it got even MORE beautiful. What was with this place! And for some weird reason it smelled a lot like when I was at the HFStival. Not quite sure what that was.

My camera couldn't quite hang with the night shots, but this was the best it could do. The full moon was so bright: this doesn't really capture the moment. I plan on suing Sony.


And there you have it. The only thing I didn't get a picture of was me almost falling asleep 39 times on the drive home. That was the funnest!

everything IS illuminated

So it turns out, this is a really good film. Rygar, this message is for You: you would dig this movie. I think. I really like it. Everyone else should see it, too.

Death by fromage

So last night we went to this lovely little french restaurant for our anniversary. It was your typical snobby affair: ridiculous menu items for ricoculous prices. They serve Calf Thymus, for crap's sake!!! Much to my wife's dismay, I would prefer a $9.95 filling and delicious entree at Chili's to a $59.00 plate of 0.34 ounces of uncooked duck. Malgré all that, it was a great time. Lovely atmosphere, and good company. However, at the end of the meal they brought out some cheese. this was the one part of the meal that I actually planned on truly enjoying. One piece looked not unlike that pictured here. I was so used to eating nast all night that I didn't think twice about eating the hardened crust. About 10 seconds into my first bite I began to get REEEEEEEEEEEAly nervous. My whole soft palate was numb. Uvula and all. I have not been this scared in a while and i was assuming that this is what an anaphylactic response felt like. I was waiting for my trachea to close off. But it never did. Instead, I spent the next 45 minutes to an hour with a numb soft palate. Any explanations from you cheesologists out there? I certainly don't know what the heck happened. Maybe there is a huge underground heroin smuggling ring. They coat all nasty french cheeses with a 1/4" layer of smack and then smelt it out later.
Who knows. But man, it sure scared the crap out of me.
In other news, we are off to a wedding in Northern Pennsylvania. Should be a scenic drive. I am excited. Pictures to follow.
In still other news, my last night's dreams may be filed under "recurring theme of impossibly steep mountains and their inexplicable navigation." I had to drive down a cliff that was covered in metal rails. It was about a mile high. Upon reaching the bottom (magically) I was told to get the hell out of the way so that the next set of cars could come crashing down. It was nuts.

I'm old

I have been married for 6 years today. Actually my wife has been, too. Odd, no?

Wow

I dropped my ipod this morning and it died.  It was dead.  As in asystolic, decerebrate posturing, positive babinski, do not resuscitate, nametag on the toe, zip-up-the-body-bag DEAD.  I went to exhorbitant lengths to prove this to myself using all sorts of websites and diagnostic maneuvers.  End of story.
I finally said an expletive aloud and slammed the ipod down on the desk.  I shite you not: the damn thing immediately began working!!!  Guess who was ROFLMAO!!!  
I have new-found faith in the time-tested theory of two wrongs make a right.  Just as Kermit hit his head and became amnestic in Muppets take Manhattan and was only restored to his former self by a similar jar to the head.  This borders on miraculous.  I don't know what to do with myself.  

Brilliant tactic: if you are having trouble completing a project here is an idea. Email the person to whom you will be turning said project in and let them know that it is finished and ask if they would like you to email it to them or just meet them in person. Most likely that person will email back saying "that great! [sic]" and request that you email it back immediately. At which point you will be forced to stay up all hours of the night completing your project so that you are not a liar. Now you try!

Mon oncle est célèbre!

Dude, Timmer is rocking the Des-y News old school. Check it.

what is the deal!??!

That's it. I'm moving to Antarctica. This horrifying monster eclipsed even the terror of the last beast to visit our house.
Please note the regulation garden hose for scale.
hold on... alskdjfalskfhpao8w3ytr[0aw9ejl'as;kgna;lsdkfgjpowieht;lwkegnms;ladkvm[20q3jp[woiertjpwoiejtgl';dvgnmalksdn;laskdf
Sorry, heebie jeebies.

Coming full circle

My very first webpage was entitled "No Room" in honor of my favorite album by The Samples. I recently discovered that somehow I managed to have every Samples album EXCEPT No Room. Yesterday I remedied this discrepancy with the help of my friendly iTunes account, a.k.a. iNstant Gratification machine. I now remember why I loved this album. It RULES. I will thus spend the day reliving 1994-6. Check out this awesome Sean Kelly autograph:

Somehow we managed to get backstage passes to a Samples show at DV8 on my birthday. It was pretty sweet. I had another autograph from Sean, on my arm with a cool scar drawing, but that eventually washed off. You may have noticed that No Room took over the number one spot under my current listenings over there------->.

And now for something completely different: I have recently become a dork (in a new way). I'm collecting pennies. I believe that makes me a numismatist(?). I have every year from 2006 back to 1968 except 1977. And then some older ones too. I even ordered cool folders to put them in. Dad, remember your little blue penny book at Grandpa's? Well, I do. And it had a steel penny from WWII. I always thought that was pretty sweet. Ok, I've dorked out long enough. At least it's not stamps.

awww

Not that they're hideous now, but man...my cats used to be CUTE!

In other news, Melissa dreamt that her dad shot Dwyane Wade in an FBI shootout. Very interesting.

That's it for now, stay tuned for more news later...here on MTV.

Cerebral hemorrhage

Dream of last night:
I was walking out of some strange house that was supposedly mine and realized that I somehow had allowed myself to possess like 5 cars. One was a black lincoln towncar type thing. I also had rented an old van with flat tires but forgot to take it back for months and months. I owed thousands of dollars and I was freaking out. Then the guys from American Chopper (see fig 1.1)
Fig 1.1

...came to the rescue. They were going to fix up the van and make a bunch of money for me and solve all of my problems. So that was nice.

Pearl Jam is so sweet.

Not 2 days after the concert I have downloaded (from their site) the whole thing! You can see how awesome our seats were. Man, I just love this instant gratification though! I can relive the concert again and again!