holy crap

the strongbad podcasts are toooo good.  Check them out.

On a much happier note...

Pearl Jam rocked the house. And the senate. It was totally great. They even played a Neil song! But I will reveal that story later. They played for 2 and 1/2 hours. Lots of old stuff and new stuff. In fact, why don't we (the royal we) include the set list here:

-Set 1:
Release
World Wide Suicide
Severed Hand
Corduroy
Animal
Do The Evolution
Given To Fly
Low Light
Unemployable
Grievance
Even Flow
I Got Id
Present Tense
Better Man
Inside Job
Wasted Reprise
Life Wasted
Why Go
Rearviewmirror
-Encore 1:
Man Of The Hour
Masters Of War
Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town
Come Back
Alive
-Encore 2:
Comatose
Leash
F*&^$n' Up
Yellow Ledbetter

My ears ring on in tribute.

Note to self

Dear Self,
When selling things on eBay, use a reserve price.  Or you are liable to sell a 50 dollar video game for $2.28 and hate your self for it for the rest of your days.
-Self.

Nightmare central

I had a series of horrific and seriously vivid nightmares last night about a knife-wielding psychopath let loose in a mall. I woke up with a feeling of utter terror and every sound in the house continued to scare me even more (e.g., faucet drips, stupid cats running around). After much prayer and chill-time I was able to fall back to sleep whereupon I was rewarded with more super-vivid dreams, this time I was going to some high school reunion/prom type thing at a crazy snow lodge on foothill blvd just above the Dan's (which also looked really trippy). A huge medical/military helicopter flew over and then some dude on a motorcycle launched himself off a bottomless jump. And it was snowing so hard that it seemed like night even though it wasn't. And someone from high school (who shall remain nameless but who I hadn't thought about in ages and I don't know why I remember her name) came up to me and said "it's an honor to see you again." [rofl] Somebody sure thinks highly of himself!!! Kglo told me today that maybe that dream was trying to reinstall my virus-infected self-esteem software. Anyway, it was nuts!

Memorial Day movie time

Family hero Neil Young got spoofed recently on SNL. Any publicity is good publicity, right? Check it out here.

Task update

Well, I succeeded in doing lots of ass-sitting. I also sold a whole bunch of crap on eBay (see below). Then I cleaned and organized the garage (not on the list, but still worthwhile). I tried to go out with the missionaries but they dogged me, the jerks. So instead I made the movie of St. Thomas that I wanted to make! Check it out here.

Three Cheers for iMovie. It almost works perfectly.

Oh my goodness.

Holy Cripes. This movie already has the disadvantage of being the weirdest friggin' thing ever conceived. The least you could do is spell it's title correctly. Go Bjork! You nutty...nutball you!

At least they didn't leave out the s and the r.

Wow, that was cathartic.

Want to see a whole bunch of random bullcrap? Check out this crapfest.

I need to go outside now.

Yea weekends!

My 3-day weekend just became a 4-day weekend because my exam was over by 10:00 a.m. Hooray. Here are the things I would like to accomplish today in rank-order of chance of happening (#1 being most likely to occur):

1) Sit on my ass a lot.
2) Sell an inordinate amount of crap on eBay. Basically, I plan to look through all the old crap that I'm holding on to and just sell it. I need to support my crank habit somehow.
3) Write, perform, produce, and display a song on Garage Band after blowing the cobwebs off my keyboard.
4) Transfer the video I took from our St. Thomas trip and making some sort of sweet movie.
5) Watch the Phoenix Suns win game 2 against the Mavs.
6) Go see X-Men III
7) Finally get that pesky cold fusion machine to work.
8) Arrest Global Warming.
9) Figure out the outline for my surgery paper.
10) Work on the Urology Case Report I was supposed to have done ages ago.

Please wish me luck and visit my auctions.

This post needs a picture. Um...here you go:

File under: Totally unnecessary but neato

non secreteur

You know who is really annoying? This guy:

Why yes, actually I was looking for Bob Ice, the old man who used to run the haunted amusement park:

You know who rivals that other guy for utter annoyingness? This lady:

But do you know what is totally amazing? Barn owls:

I did a report on them in like 4th grade and my life has never been the same.
Also awesome:

This was found in an incredible catalog that graced my mailbox today, The Paragon. I suggest you all pick one up.

Wikipedia is the greatest.

So, I watched this steaming pile of poop of a "film" called Twisted with Samuel L. Jackson, Andy Garcia, and Ashley Judd. It was one giant pulsating mass of clichés. I've come to expect this from Ms. Judd (see Double Jeopardy, High Crimes, Divine Lameness of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, etc., etc., etc. But Sammy-J and Andy Garcia? Come on, you guys are better than that.
Anyway, the great thing that came from this tartar-scraping of a movie was that it caused me to look up the origin of the word cliché on wikipedia. For those of you with carpal tunnel I will save you a click:

...originally a printing term, for a semi-permanently assembled piece of type which could easily be inserted into the document being printed...

I then looked up on the sweetest free translation site on the web the literal definition of the word and it turns out that it means stereotype, which is also a printing term with French origins. Again, I shall save you arthritics a click:

The word stereotype was invented by Firmin Didot in the world of printing; it was originally a duplicate impression of an original typographical element, used for printing instead of the original. Over time, this became a metaphor for any set of ideas repeated identically, en bloc, with minor changes. In fact, cliché and stereotype were both originally printers' words, and in their literal printers' meanings were synonymous. Specifically, cliché was an onomatopoetic word for the sound that was made during the stereotyping process when the matrix hit molten metal.

Wow, is that cool or what? Now I need to do a post on onomatopoetic words. I shall, however, save this for another day without so many Game 7's.

P.S. Have you ever noticed that people (including yourselves) often use the phrase "a whole nother," as in "Now you're talking about a whole nother issue." It feels natural, but when you think about it: it's pretty retarded.

Czech yourself before you wreck yourself

Man, we could learn a lot from those eastern europeans. We need to just let our political leaders duke it out once in a while. Check out the video on Cnn.com.

Dream Parade

I woke up at 7:30 and then hit the snooze bar every 9 minutes until 10:30 thus allowing for a plethora of dreams.  Some of the greatest hits were:
1) I was getting out of a van on downington avenue in SLC and I was with Dad and Ryan.  I was drunk for the first time in my life and I was trying to explain how I felt.  Basically I just felt clumsy.  
2) I was in the Thompson's house, only it was totally different.  Actually it looked more like the Romney's old house.  Anyway, I was trying to take a shower but there were family members all over the place.  I saw Joel and said hello.  Then I saw Connor and Bremond hanging out in the front room.  Bremond looked exactly like he did in like 10th grade.  
3) The other 19 dreams are already forgotten.

In other news, I managed to accomplish 0.05% of what I had set out to do this weekend.  What the hell is my problem?  The more I have to get done the more paralyzed I become.  Lame fest.  

How can I not be myself?

I [heart] Huckabees is a totally sweet show for the following reasons:
1) Naomi Watts is my hero. Well, my heroine. My heroin. She's like morphine.
2) Marky Mark Wahlberg is one of the most underrated actors of our time.
3) It brings the Lily Tomlin and Richard Jenkins together again for the first time since Flirting with Disaster, which, incidentally, is one of the top 5 funniest movies ever made.
4) Dustin Hoffman is so sweet.
5) Totally sweet and sparingly used special effects.

and despite the following weaknesses:
1) Jason Schwartzman
2) Jude Law, bless his heart, sucks at speaking American.

I still give it 2 thumbs up. Actually, I give it one entire-universe-encompassing blanket up. See the movie. That line still won't be funny, but see the movie.

Start spreading the news...

Holy crap, could the new 5th avenue Apple store be any more awesome?
p.s. This is the exact spot where this totally sweet picture was taken:

p.p.s. This is also the spot where I came within 10 feet of Sheryl Crow. It is...hallowed ground.

Sweet Jumpin' Judas.

I have become one of those people.

Nerd alert

Now that I have rearranged my desk, are you thinking what I'm thinking, pinky?

24 beers a day for 8 years...

Rygar and Nariman: they finally found your 17th south house!*


*under Best Video called "empty house filled with empties"

survival

Well, I made it back alive without the fun "feeling of imminent death" part.  11.50 miles exactly.  Now I will go eat a double quarter pounder with cheese meal supersized with a turbo carb-coke while I prepare for Phoenix to kick some Clipper behind!

What's an exercise?

So yesterday I decided to get back on the proverbial horse, or literal bike, and exercise for the first time in ages. I went about half as far as my usual minimum and when I got home my brains were spinning and I couldn't breathe so well. I laid down and felt like I was doing backwards somersaults into the carpet. After a couple of minutes I felt okay again. It was no fun. This taught me one thing: I need to get out and cycle again! I'm off to risk life and limb.
.

It's just beautiful

check it out

first video post ?!?!?!!??!?

Watch the Video

Other important things

Petarsky and Hutch made me these ridiculously awesome mix-cds. Seriously, I've been jamming to them for 2 days despite the fact that my iPod is now repaired (again) and fully functional. But I'm curious: which song is the "surprise appearance?" And who is playing the all-guitar rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody? Must I site Mixtape statute 1:124:05 section 159 where it states that a listing of the included tracks shall at all times be included with a gifted mix-tape? Thank you, dude. They rule.




Story #2: Somebody backed into my precious RX-8 yesterday. It was in the parking garage at school and I had to stop to let some bonehead do a 19-point turn into a spot when some chick in a Honda Pilot backed right into my side leaving a small but totally image-ruining dent in my otherwise nearly perfect metallic idol. It felt good to finally be in an accident where I wasn't at fault.



Lastly, there is entirely too much good t.v. on lately. What, with the NBA playoffs (go SUNS!), the Office, American Inventor, and, of course, American Idol, how the hell am I supposed to get anything done! Chris, my man, I can't believe you went down. It's up to you, Taylor! May your grey hair lead you on to victory like these other brave prematurely powdery peeps:


the incomparable Steve Martin

dreamy cnn anchor Anderson Cooper

former president Bill Clinton

Colonel Sanders

This guy

Back from Zion

Having returned from the crossroads of the west and taken 2-3 days to realign my brain with reality, I will now document some of the events that thereuntoheretofore occurred.

First, twas dad's birthday. It was pretty sweet. Especially when dad called the police.

Lots of totally awesome computers type people were there, exhibits A and B.

Exhibit C and the back of Exhibit B.

Many baby showers were held. Just imagine the above scene played over and over again 50 times. But in a good way.

Tons of family that I hadn't seen in a billion years (or ever) were there. Special thanks to Jaime for the scans that brought back to life the following:

Does this not look like Rygar, Bill, and Josh? What's even stranger is when you realize that you actually look like your recent ancesters, for example:

Can you see it? Well I can, and its nuts.

So anyway, I drove this sweet hearse around for the weekend. And I made lots of other people ride in it's morbid shell.

Like Gar

PeTar

& CarTar who, unbeknownst to most people used to star in MTV's Jackass.

Of note, my uncle bought this dream machine Lotus. Jealous, much?

This tot-sweet dog came and joined us for lunch at one point.


And that about sums up the weekend, en bref. It was sweet. Except that it made me wish I could just hop on a plane every weekend and chill with friends and fam.

P.S. It is lightning like a MOFO right now. Nuts.

Go abster! And Steven Colbert!

This post is in reference to this post by my good friend, Abby. Check it out!

That ain't cool.

So, I don't consider myself an arachnologist by any means. * But something about this one just ain't right. Something about "the figure 8 of doom" lingers in my memory. Anybody out there* who is better-versed in the ways of the spider: please let me know how terrified I should be for not* killing this behemoth found on my kitchen door. ***

*The asterisks in this post indicate time periods when the author was shuddering with the heebie-geebies

I wanna be a HOA

So, it turns out that it's really embarrassing when the home owner's association sends around some dude to tell you how much shame you're spreading upon the neighborhood. Exhibit A:

Apparently green moldy slime is not an "acceptable add-on."
But I showed them:

Have you ever seen cleaner vinyl siding? Have YOU?!?


Actually, no, my life isn't this boring. I just choose to dwell on the boring bits.

For those about to rock, we salute you.

Welcome to the world, little fin. Way to go S & S Music Factory! He's a keeper.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy crap-on-a-hot-tin-roof-with-my-pants-down!
Do not click here if you don't want some serious spoiler action. Preview #2 brought out the mega-dork, screw-you-if-you-don't-like-it, stand-in-line-in-nothing-but-my-blue-and-red-underoos-for-two-days-to-get-tickets, laugh/giggle/cry/vomit/exsanguinate, SUPERMAN FAN in me.

I
cannot
wait.

(not) Losing my religion

Just when I thought about having my "I [heart] Steve Jobs" tatoo removed, Apple goes ahead and acts like the badasses I always knew they were. Check this out!!! God bless 'em. Fight the Man!
P.S. The new Pearl Jam album (I think it should be called Avacado and not self-titled since the cover doesn't say "Pearl Jam-The Pearl Jam Album") Rocks and rules. It even rolls occasionally. World Wide Suicide makes me tap my cautiously liberal feet!
P.P.S. My ipod photo is being replaced for the second time today!