thank your

We were using these "flexible nails" in the operating room the other day and I wanted to comment on the fact that they were actually incredibly stiff. Here's how it came out:
"I guess flexitive...err...Flexitive...umm...[long pause]...I guess FLEXible is a relative term."
[long pause]
[silence]
[shame]

I do this all day long. At the gift shop today:
Lady: Thank you, sir.
Josh: You, too.

How awkward can I be?!?

The best one ever, and I may have already blogged this, was when I meant to say either "you're welcome" or "no problem," but instead said "Your problem."

22 days left in Colorado. Actually 3 or 4 of those will be spent in Utah (I'm coming to Utah next Friday, peeps!). So, 19 or so days left! Wahoo!

How sad can I become

I don't mean sad like tearful, I mean sad like...pathetic.

I had an early day at work and I have decided to go to a movie. By
myself. Alone. I saw that look you gave me, ms. Ticket seller. And as
for you, concessions man: YES! I do want a large popcorn and a large
coke! Bet you weren't expecting that were you?!? I now wish I lived
in Utah, not because I miss the state, but I miss friends and family.
Even though, to be truthful, a good many of them no longer live there
anyway. Can I just start a trend? Everybody come to Missouri.
Seriously, Columbia is awesome. Ok, here comes iron man. Ooh...I just
got so excited. There is still something about being in the theater.
(cue the previews!!!)

blogsteal

This is a direct cheat off of Brohawk's blog, but it's too good. I cannot resist.

I don't think we're in Kansas anymore...thank goodness.

So I survived a tornado. But first, let me share some backdated pics.

It took me a good 30 seconds to decipher whether it was okay for me to park in this spot.

My 24-foot moving van with the first box in place. 

The same van only 2 hours later.  I think we could've gotten some more stuff in there if we really tried.  

That sign says Mingo.  You're going to have to trust me.  I got a shot of Brookville today, too.  But sadly, the 7 items remaining in my apartment do not include a usb cord so I cannot get the pics off of my canon.  Coming soon.  Anyway, Brohawk was featured in my several cross-country trips of late!

Me driving the van.  Can you see the angst?  The fear?  The regret?

Old-timey gas pump in the middle of nowheres.  They had adjusted it so that the decimal point was one off so that the astronomical prices we now experience could at least partially be displayed on this relic.  That's 93 bucks you're looking at (so far).

Somehow, when I fill up my normal car with gas it feels more like connecting it to an electrical outlet.  I plug in the pump and a few minutes later my car is "charged."  This really felt like pouring gas into a can.  No automatic shut off for this tank, baby!  It's fill-till-you-spill.  Holy crap, that's awesome.  I should trademark that.  

Lucie dug auntie Mamie.  Her glasses, too.  

I left a stripe in the grass for a moment so I could demonstrate the jungle that once was.  

The van, now nearly emptied yet again.  Only heavy dangerous things remained, which is why I allowed my daughter to play in it. 

Chubby feet on the grass.  A yard?  We have a yard?!?  I can't wait to have a projector-on-the-side-of-the-house movie party!  

The grass was wet, unfortunately.  Lucie, like her father, abhors a mess.  "Oh no!" she keeps repeating.  

Headphones and messy hair.  

Mmm...Yummy.  This makes me laugh out loud everytime.  

Our mall has a merry go round and lucie is fully smitten.  She is in deep smit.  

Our "airport."  So old school.  You should all come and see it.  Sadly today there was an air show and I missed it!  Did I mention that I hate my job and hate how far away it takes me from my family and everything I own?!?!?!??!?!?

The puddle jumper that Mamie and I took to KC, MO.

I love when the top-most part of the sky seems to turn black from the perspective of an airplane window.  It feels like outer space and is probably the closest I'll ever get to it.  The sky also seems to look convex from plane windows.  I've tried to 'splain this to people in the past and just get weird stares.  Just trust me.  

Sweet circular farms down below.  I want my pilot's license.  Did you know that?

I bought a new airbed (our third: the other 2 work for 2 hours and then become a bounce house) but not this one.  I just loved this picture though.  "If you're cheap enough to buy this one, your ass is going to be on the ground, man."  Truth in advertising.  

This sign at work makes me laugh every time as well.  

Totally sweet lego version of the children's hospital where I'm spending my last (!) month of internship.  

Ok: let the tornado story begin.  So I picked the absolute worst weekend possible to try to sneak out and visit Melissa and Lucie.  Nevertheless: it was worth it to get 36 hours with the 2 most important people on the planet.  But here's the story.  I drove to Columbia on Friday night and back to Denver today (that's 1450 miles in 48 hours).  On Friday night, about 2 hours outside of Denver I drove through some ridiculously strong winds and saw this apparition to the left:

I called Ryan and exaggerated that I thought I had just been through a tornado.  Little did I know what lie ahead.  I drove another couple of hours with my ipod blasting in my car, blissfully unaware that a tornado warning had been issued for central Kansas.  I stopped to get gas and a rather panicked man at the next pump informed me of this fact.  Just then the tornado sirens started to wail.  Everyone should experience that sound at least once.  We went inside to pay and the owner of the truck stop began ordering everyone into the bathrooms.  We shuffled in, men, women and children.  At first it was just annoying and everyone was busy making jokes.  I took this shot about now:

Then, after about 45 minutes, the owner came in, said that a tornado had touched down about 2 miles south of where we were and was headed our way. He closed the bathroom doors and told us all to get down. Some dude started saying the lord's prayer and the lights went out.  We heard some loud rushing sounds (not quite the "freight train" sound of one going over your head) and the lights came back on.  Here's a pic from this point:

Near-death experiences sure make me look fat.  Anyway, long story short, the tornado passed within about a 1/2 mile and then several more came by but not as close.  After about another hour they finally let us out.  I got on the road and saw a bunch of downed trees and a truck that was rolled over.  In my haste to make up for lost time I scored a delorian.  (that's when you get a speeding ticket for going 88 mph).  I finally got in at 3:30 a.m.   Saturday was fantastic.  The rain continued and we tried to teach lucie how to use an umbrella:

Not so much.  

Here's our new bedroom, where I'd rather be right now. 

Lucie at the park right by our new house.  Awesome. 

The stroller was so she could push it, not ride in it.  Baby #2 is starting to show!!!

Ahhh!  I miss this kid!

To make an even longer story yet shorter, on the way home, within 10 miles of the city from Friday night (Ellis, KS if you're curious) a huge storm came up and when I turned on the radio I discovered that a new round of tornado warnings were in effect.  Fortunately I was at the tail end of them, this time.  I got some awesome pics, but once again I am unable to get them off my camera.  Boo.  Well, just get excited, they are awesome.  No funnel clouds, but still pretty sweet.  Besides, as I learned from the recording I heard about 50 times this weekend, if you wait until you see or hear a tornado to get to shelter...it may just be too late!  

Yikes.

Movie of the week

Check it. My absolute favorite part is the ultra gratuitous double crash. No wait, the root beer spill.

Josh's motivation: When in doubt, say "ay" or "beauty." Don't worry, it will work.

Curse you, blue screen!

As Promised, Petey.

I feel a lot of pressure to come up with a novel title

I'm heading home (?) from our new house in Columbia, Missouri back to Denver to finish off my intern year. Leaving was painful today. Reasons #1-9178 leaving Mel and Lucie behind for an indefinite period of time sucks. Reason #next: we had just started to get our new place organized and perty. We have a nice new tv mounted over our fireplace, a garage with enough space for two cars AND the entire contents of our last apartment, etc, etc. I've had a blast over the last few days doing such grown up Lego tasks as installing towel racks and stapling in the contact paper in the cabinets. I had quite the blast from the past while mowing our lawn (twice) and listening to Led Zeppelin. Memories of Europa drive were rampant. I finally started digitizing my high school movies and, months after petey's initial request I will finally get Bad Karma online later today. More to follow.

A shout out to aunt "Mamie" for all of her help with moving and for her company during my Kansas city international layover. Thanks, dude! We will meet in the wild magical kingdom of Arkansas!!!

Button fly jeans suck.

Who knew Ace Hardware could be such a treasure trove of fun activities? I suddenly have an overwhelming desire to install solar powered garden path lights and re landscape our treacherous wasteland of a backyard.

The Columbia airport is "closing" in June for two months until a new carrier, NWA, starts flights from Co, MO to Memphis. Strange that for that period of time the nearest functioning airport will be 90 minutes away.

Jazz fans: what a heartbreaking finish, eh?

Lakers fans: boo.

Soreness from loading and unloading a 24-foot truck combined with rip-roaring seasons allergies have left my body in a terrible state of disrepair. Our piano made it upstairs, though.

We watched our first Blu-ray the other night in celebration of my new electronics extravaganza. It was Casino Royale. Daniel Craig is one BMF. I want his car and his poker winnings.

The live version of PJ's Daughter with a bit of WMA and KORITFW is so great.

I put a bird feeder in one of the trees in the back yard in an effort to attract more cardinals and woodpeckers. Melissa was kind enough to oblige this gesture despite her Sherbet-like distaste for birds. Pics to follow as I hone my ornithological skills.

This post must end before I lose it all from some iPhone glitch, pardon the heracy.

P.S. A google account is no longer required to leave a comment, so let's hear it!

Riddle me this

Because of the weather today,

and since I'm in such a good mood,

by the way, it's my last day of call:

Yeah!

 

Now seems like the perfect time,

under the circumstances to

make an announcement.

But since I'm a goofball,

even I can't resist making it in a

really cryptic way.

 

The riddle is this:

What is alive and kicking,

occupies a confined space...

 

is conceivably the

second most important thing in the world?

 

All you have to do is read this post:

 

Granted, it will take some

inference and intuition, but

rather than just tell you all,

look how much fun you've had figuring it out

!

Post #302

I never paid attention to how many posts I've done on the shblog. Over 300! Not counting all the good old Haywood days.

A few nights ago I dreamt that I was having an ex-lap (exploratory laparotomy). I was awake during the surgery but couldn't talk. I was trying to use my hands to signal the doctors that I was awake but I couldn't get there attention. For the rest of the dream I was trying to avoid ripping open my huge new incision. It's sad when your work takes over your dreams.

I have a curse of always apologizing for any awkward situation whether it's my fault or not. LIke when you come around the corner and somebody was right on the other side and you almost bump into each other. I always say "sorry." Occasionally it makes me really annoyed because someone will do something obviously rude and wrong, but I will say that I am sorry. Then I get p.o.'d at myself for being sorry. Stop being sorry all the time? At the same time, however, I would rather be the guy who says sorry too often than the opposite.

There is a commercial running here for a pizza place called "Cici's" which shows some goofball pondering cutting into the buffet line. He imagines the worst possible thing that could happen if he did. A dream sequence follows of everyone getting really upset at him which culminates in his grandmother scolding, "Joshua David!" It trips me out.

Oh the Jazz. Why must you reel me in and then yank the hook out of my lip and throw me back in the water bloodied and jaded.

I love Denver.

We're moving to columbia this weekend. I'm looking forward to 11 hours in a 24-foot moving van. I'm not even joking. The thought of such an extended period of time with little to no responsibility (other than not crashing and destroying our every possession) sounds pretty appealing right now.

This post needs a picture.

This is the world's tallest man, Robert Wadlow who was 8 feet 11 inches at the time of his death. I mean, come on...

btw, those other dudes are about 6 feet tall.