Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Coming soon to a theater near you
Just wanted to let everyone know that my biopic is about to be released. Check it out: here.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
the BuShblog
We went to see the "man" land. It was awesome.
Dad at la Casa Blanca, awaiting arrival of senior arbusto.
First two choppers came in and did a totally sweet flyby a la maverick.
See: I told you.
Then the real deal came in.
The bossman came out after some pomp and circumstance with a soldier.
The Mrs. too!
This one is my favorite because...
It looks like he's doing a Hungarian folk dance.
Technically, this is Lucie getting her picture taken with the president.
Some cheff in front of me was ranting and jeering. It was awkward.
The President appeared to be lost and wandered off into the trees.
The heli wasted no time and took off for the wild blue yonder.
The whole crew. Some showed their respect for the president by dressing in their finest shorts and tees.
Kicking it cold old school on the White House lawn.
Ain't it perty?
It was an incredible event. But apparently not enough for dad who, it seems, attempted to break into the NSA the following day. Silly dad.
Dad at la Casa Blanca, awaiting arrival of senior arbusto.
First two choppers came in and did a totally sweet flyby a la maverick.
See: I told you.
Then the real deal came in.
The bossman came out after some pomp and circumstance with a soldier.
The Mrs. too!
This one is my favorite because...
It looks like he's doing a Hungarian folk dance.
Technically, this is Lucie getting her picture taken with the president.
Some cheff in front of me was ranting and jeering. It was awkward.
The President appeared to be lost and wandered off into the trees.
The heli wasted no time and took off for the wild blue yonder.
The whole crew. Some showed their respect for the president by dressing in their finest shorts and tees.
Kicking it cold old school on the White House lawn.
Ain't it perty?
It was an incredible event. But apparently not enough for dad who, it seems, attempted to break into the NSA the following day. Silly dad.
Well, eff.
Colorado it is. Who says you shouldn't get your hopes up? If you never did you could never be horribly dissappointed!
On a happier note, my daughter just ate a fly.
On a happier note, my daughter just ate a fly.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Actual conversation from 4 am
"Where's the humidifier?"
"You made a fire?"
"Yes, dear. I made a fire and wanted to tell you that at 4 a.m."
"You made a fire?"
"Yes, dear. I made a fire and wanted to tell you that at 4 a.m."
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
losing my mind
I recently saw a very funny spoof of a pharmaceutical ad for a drug like ambien or lunesta. I thought for sure it was on Saturday Night Live. This was very recently! But I can find no record of this commercial. WTF!?! I'm going cuckoo trying to find it.
p.s. it is not the stupid stupid stupid spoof on google video of some guy swatting at the Lunesta butterfly.
p.s. it is not the stupid stupid stupid spoof on google video of some guy swatting at the Lunesta butterfly.
my child is wild
Lucie was born with a special sensor chip implanted in her brain that allows her to detect which object in her vicinity may be the MOST dangerous, breakable, and/or expensive. She also has a homing program that causes her to immediately grab and destroy said object.
So, in my measurable mercy I have decided to grant Petarsky a prize for the mystery mix even though he didn't get the answer I was looking for. This is mostly because his sister sent me on a whirlwind guilt trip, but also because pete was partially correct when he said that "maybe the connection between the songs is simply that Josh thinks they rock," (something like that), because that is true.
I am not going to just give him a blank check to spend at Steve Jobs' toy store. I get to pick what he wins. And I am going to do that right now.
[some time later]
I sent petros-petros gali the film "Gross Pointe Blank" with the following inscription.
"In honor of our upcoming 10-year reunion, which I will probably miss, and in dishonor of you not guessing the mix theme."
I am so mean/awesome.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Unlimited Power!
So I made this mystery mix for my best buddy Pete. And he had to figure out the theme of the mix in order to win a prize. You can see him flailing here. Granted, it is graceful flailing.
Here is the mix:
Paranoid Android (remix) - Radiohead
Eleanor Rigby - Aretha Franklin
Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
Electrical Storm - U2
Recovering The Satellites - Counting Crows
Mad World - Michael Andrews
I Bombed Korea - Cake
L'absente - Yann Tiersen
Elephant Woman - Blonde Redhead
Sad Sad World - Sheryl Crow
Red Rabbits - The Shins
Only In Dreams - Weezer
My Love - Justin Timberlake
Neil Young Song - Hayden
Emaline - Ben Folds
You Can't Always Get What You Want - The Rolling Stones
Can anybody see the link? I do mean SEE the link.
Pete is actually PETER. Peter Romney in fact. Peter MILES romney.
[evil laugh/cackle] I'm so awesome.
Here is the mix:
Paranoid Android (remix) - Radiohead
Eleanor Rigby - Aretha Franklin
Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
Electrical Storm - U2
Recovering The Satellites - Counting Crows
Mad World - Michael Andrews
I Bombed Korea - Cake
L'absente - Yann Tiersen
Elephant Woman - Blonde Redhead
Sad Sad World - Sheryl Crow
Red Rabbits - The Shins
Only In Dreams - Weezer
My Love - Justin Timberlake
Neil Young Song - Hayden
Emaline - Ben Folds
You Can't Always Get What You Want - The Rolling Stones
Can anybody see the link? I do mean SEE the link.
Pete is actually PETER. Peter Romney in fact. Peter MILES romney.
[evil laugh/cackle] I'm so awesome.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Hey Brohawk!
Your wish is granted.
Everybody click here and prove how smart you are. Or not. Because I will warn you of what I did not know. After I feverishly plowed through the test, you are given the chance to see your score...for 9.95 payable by credit card. [cue the fog horn sound effect and green goop poored from the ceiling onto my head] Of course, I was not about to let that effort go to waste so I risked identity theft and personal humiliation and forked out the cash. You get a little profile telling you what percentage of the population scored lower than you as well as a certificate to print out and inspire disgust and nausea in all who see it. So, if you've got 10 bucks burning a hole in your pocket, and a desire to relive the SAT, do it! Please forward your certificates to me so that I may proudly display them.
FYI:
How well did I do? What does my score mean?
Intelligence Interval Cognitive Designation
40 - 54 Severely challenged (Less than 1% of test takers)
55 - 69 Challenged (2.3% of test takers)
70 - 84 Below average
85 - 114 Average (68% of test takers)
115 - 129 Above average
130 - 144 Gifted (2.3% of test takers)
145 - 159 Genius (Less than 1% of test takers)
160 - 175 Extraordinary genius
Of note: Less than 70 is the medical definition of mental retardation. <50 is severe mental retardation, and < 30 is classified as ZOMGWTF.
They claim that 5.42 million people have taken this test and that the average score is 108.447 with a standard deviation of 14.889. Remember that the average IQ should be 100, but they state that a possible confounding variable causing their average to be too high is that "The lowest IQ holders will not be capable of using the internet to measure their own intelligence." Awesome.
***UPDATE***
Apparently one does not have to pay to get their IQ score from the aforementioned test. They will email you just your general IQ score. But they won't make this obvious to you and you will feel like you need to pay the 10 dollars to get any info and thus feel somewhat cheated when you discover your "free" IQ score in your email inbox a few hours after paying for the "complete IQ profile." Wow, I'm a sap.
Everybody click here and prove how smart you are. Or not. Because I will warn you of what I did not know. After I feverishly plowed through the test, you are given the chance to see your score...for 9.95 payable by credit card. [cue the fog horn sound effect and green goop poored from the ceiling onto my head] Of course, I was not about to let that effort go to waste so I risked identity theft and personal humiliation and forked out the cash. You get a little profile telling you what percentage of the population scored lower than you as well as a certificate to print out and inspire disgust and nausea in all who see it. So, if you've got 10 bucks burning a hole in your pocket, and a desire to relive the SAT, do it! Please forward your certificates to me so that I may proudly display them.
FYI:
How well did I do? What does my score mean?
Intelligence Interval Cognitive Designation
40 - 54 Severely challenged (Less than 1% of test takers)
55 - 69 Challenged (2.3% of test takers)
70 - 84 Below average
85 - 114 Average (68% of test takers)
115 - 129 Above average
130 - 144 Gifted (2.3% of test takers)
145 - 159 Genius (Less than 1% of test takers)
160 - 175 Extraordinary genius
Of note: Less than 70 is the medical definition of mental retardation. <50 is severe mental retardation, and < 30 is classified as ZOMGWTF.
They claim that 5.42 million people have taken this test and that the average score is 108.447 with a standard deviation of 14.889. Remember that the average IQ should be 100, but they state that a possible confounding variable causing their average to be too high is that "The lowest IQ holders will not be capable of using the internet to measure their own intelligence." Awesome.
***UPDATE***
Apparently one does not have to pay to get their IQ score from the aforementioned test. They will email you just your general IQ score. But they won't make this obvious to you and you will feel like you need to pay the 10 dollars to get any info and thus feel somewhat cheated when you discover your "free" IQ score in your email inbox a few hours after paying for the "complete IQ profile." Wow, I'm a sap.
Finally an explanation for my Hydro!
Did you know that the average IQ has risen on average 3 points per decade over the last 100 years? They are continuously updating the scoring of IQ tests so that the average IQ is 100. This means that if children in 1937 had access to a Delorian with a flux capacitor and took an IQ test today, about 1/2 of them would be borderline mentally retarded.
This trend, called the Flynn Effect, not to be confused with the Errol Flynn effect which is the gradual thinning of mustache hair, has several proposed explanations including more education, better nutrition, greater environmental complexity, and Heterosis which is a fascinating topic deserving of it's own post.
Anyways, other exciting things that have happened to the general population include an increase in height of about 1 cm per decade, and [drum roll] an increase in head circumference!!! One could, and should, infer a relative increase in brain size. Therefore, I pay the price for my superior intellect by having to cart this enormous noggin around.
p.s. how was this for a post? So intellectual! Woot me.
This trend, called the Flynn Effect, not to be confused with the Errol Flynn effect which is the gradual thinning of mustache hair, has several proposed explanations including more education, better nutrition, greater environmental complexity, and Heterosis which is a fascinating topic deserving of it's own post.
Anyways, other exciting things that have happened to the general population include an increase in height of about 1 cm per decade, and [drum roll] an increase in head circumference!!! One could, and should, infer a relative increase in brain size. Therefore, I pay the price for my superior intellect by having to cart this enormous noggin around.
p.s. how was this for a post? So intellectual! Woot me.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
"Just when I think you couldn't get any dumber...
You go and do something like this. And TOTALLY redeem yourself!"
Speaking of redemption: peter, you are forgiven.
I was reminded today what an incredible and important film Dumb & Dumber was/is.
I met a lady today who sounded just like that droid on Return of the Jedi who is deciding what to do with C-3PO and R2D2 in Jabba's hut. It was pretty sweet.
I also heard the following phrase: "One of the social workers may be by." And I imagined responding, "May be bi?" It was really funny at the time. In my head.
Graduation is imminent. Can't wait.
My poor baby was sick as [expletive deleted] last night and did not sleep. It sucked. And I was alone. Did I mention that she didn't sleep? I got [a lot] more sleep when I was on call!
Speaking of redemption: peter, you are forgiven.
I was reminded today what an incredible and important film Dumb & Dumber was/is.
I met a lady today who sounded just like that droid on Return of the Jedi who is deciding what to do with C-3PO and R2D2 in Jabba's hut. It was pretty sweet.
I also heard the following phrase: "One of the social workers may be by." And I imagined responding, "May be bi?" It was really funny at the time. In my head.
Graduation is imminent. Can't wait.
My poor baby was sick as [expletive deleted] last night and did not sleep. It sucked. And I was alone. Did I mention that she didn't sleep? I got [a lot] more sleep when I was on call!
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