So my name is Josh. Hopefully you knew that. Strangely enough, however, if one were to look at my birth certificate one would see that my name is actually two letters longer. Joshua is my real name. But, as a testament to how little I associate myself with that name, behold the following story.
The username that was assigned to me for the 'puters at work is Joshua1. Everytime I type that in, instead of thinking, "oh look, self, there's your name again," it is so foreign that I think rather of the 80's movie Wargames. If this reference is lost on you, please immediately tab over to netflix, sign-up if necessary, and rent that awesome film. Be prepared for some annoying Ally Sheady-ness, but some totally sweet flying pterydactyls.
Sticking with this innominate theme, check this action out. So I am frequently, nay...always spelling my name for people who, at the sound of it completely lose their ability for rational thought and often respond, "whoa...what the heck kind of name is that?" To which I'm apt to reply, "hey dumbass, it's two english words. Open your eye-holes." So anyways...the real story is a funny little quirk about it's spelling. I'll be spelling it out for them...real slow-like...and I finish "o-a-k." And they inevitably respond. "o-k." This leaves me horrifically perplexed. Are they indicating their comprehension of it's spelling? Or did they, in a feat of increasingly astounding lameheadedness, mispelling my name "holyok."
Ok. I'm off to read about the bladder. I know, I know...you're all jealous. Just wait till you need a TURBT! You'll wish you'd sat alone in a stuffy room at an eery hospital reading urology textbooks instead of relaxing at home with the family sipping cranberry juice and eating mike & ike's. You'll be sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!
3 comments:
The first time I heard Ryan's name, I imagined the last name being spelled like the egg yoke would.
Holiyoke...or something stranger and less obvious than Holyoak.
...maybe Holyoke. Which makes it even funnier when you'd have to spell your name -o-k-e and the reply would be -okay.
What's ironic about that, Brook, is that the yellow part of an egg is spelled y-o-l-k: Joshua and Ryan Holyolk, which would be strangely cool. But don't worry; I, myself have sent letters to Mr. and Mrs. Holyoke once upon a time. But I've never dipped my toast in an egg yoke, nor have I ever yolked-up my team of oxen.
And speaking of 80's movie mayhem, all I can think of when I picture the actor in WarGames who plays the strange, alienated, introverted computer programmer who eventually saves the day, is the Evil Bishop of Acquila in LadyHawke, also starring Mr. Matthew Broderick, who was in Ferris Buhler's Day Off with Alan Ruckman, who was in Speed with Dennis Hopper, who was in Water World with Kevin Costner, who was in JFK with Kevin Bacon.
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