"How not to visit new york", or "Josh Seeks Sympathy for Crap Birthday"

So I was on call for my 29th birthday. This meant spending my lovely evening putting out proverbial fires, but thankfully no literal ones. I saw some gory/heinous stuff. I'm not sure gory is spelled like that. But whatev.
My emotional state went through the following stages over the course of the night:

The worst was when my eyeballs were no longer tracking together.

At least I had some birthday cake:

Mmm...Didn't these used to not be hostess?

Besides being a crotch shot:

...this also displays the ridiculous array of pagers one must adorn themselves with whilst on call at a certain hospital. Kids, can you count all seven pagers?

At least the city looks cool in the morning.

Pretty sure that building in the foreground on the left is where Dozer is summoned to on Ghostbusters.

So then I went to New Jersey for an interview, which was fine. I had 8 billion years afterwards before my flight so I thought, "hey, I'll go to manhattan and take some sweet pictures with my awesome canon camera." But instead, I tooled around in horrible traffic unable to settle upon a parking spot and spending approximately 3 hours driving at 3 miles per hour across the whole damned island. I NEVER LEFT THE CAR. And here's the kicker, my bladder was emptied twice! Summation: do not DRIVE in manhattan. It chupas huevos. Here are the crap iphone pics I took instead of the glory that could have been.

First, a bentley:

Sweet, no?

The new apple store:

And some creepy dude in front of it.

Scariest bridge crossing ever:

Taking this photo nearly cost me a rental car.

Again, risked life and limb for this shot:

Non in any way worth it.

Hey look:

It's the chrysler building. From queens, no less.

At the very least I have a better idea of the layout of the various buroughs of NYC now. Unfortunately I don't know how to spell burroughs.

Getting tired of writing. Eliminating unnecessary words. Typing in headlines.

Got to JFK. Bought Steven Colbert's book. Laughed embarrassingly loud. Everybody buy it.

Didn't take off until late. Slept on plane. Got home at 12:30 a.m. Realized car was parked in $3.00/hour zone with no daily maximum. Discover Card footed the $110.00 parking bill. Pondered my stupidity. Pondered some more. And some more.

Ok, so next time, fly into NYC and take a damn cab!

I've been wanting to do this for some time now. Let's see if I can manage it.
Ok, I'm done. It's crap, but was still fun. This is pretty close to what the size comparison would be if the Burj Dubai were being built in Salt Lake City:

The Church office building is 28 stories tall. So far the Burj has 156 completed stories. Chew on that, Trident.

One last thing. This is an example of a good, nay...great movie preview. Movie Previews and Music Videos are, perhaps, my favorite forms of media. Geez, what does that say about me? I think it's because they are both short enough that they can be made to be perfect, with no opportunity to be distracted, bored, or lose that old suspension of disbelief. Granted there are a ton of crap trailers and even more crap music vids, but there are many many of them that are totally great. I should link to my favorites. But that would take a lot of effort. Hey, you 3 people who read this blog, why don't you submit your favs. Maybe I will be inspired to list mine.