Spirit of St. Loser

I am sitting here in the St. Louis airport. Nothing terribly exciting about that, I just thought you should know. Maybe I should have written it as stage directions, not dialogue.

Anywho...I heard me a great misusage of "literally" the other day. Ready? Here goes: "I am literally between a rock and a hard place." I guess this isn't really a great misuse of the term, someone could literally be between those two things. But I like it anyway.

I have a bazillion pics to post here. Unfortunately I'm about to cross over from one bazillion to the number "never-mind" at which point no photos shall appear. We'll see how this weekend goes.

I am a traveling fool lately. 2 weeks ago: DC. Last weekend: SLC. Today: Missouri. (Are you saying these out loud? Cause you should be, they rhyme. I suppose they also rhyme in your head, but where's the fun in that?) Tomorrow: Colorado. (Still rhyming, but now in a different scheme.) Friday: Down by the bay. (Well, New Orleans to be more precise. There must be a bay down there somewhere. Come on, work with me, Rhyme-haters!) Next Wednesday: Springfield, Illinois. (No more rhyming. Deal with it.) Following Friday: Lubbock, Texas. The land of Bobby Knight, I am told. For those of you not familiar with Bobby Knight, he is a post-modernist, art-deco, nouveau riche poet laureate. Please enjoy some of his works here. Following Sunday: Back to SLC. What is that, like, 18 trips in 5 days? Nuts.

By the way [which I think should be converted into one word a la alright (not aware that it's actually from the two english words all and right? You're welcome.) into Bythaway] I just finished Stephen Colbert's book, which ruled, and I can feel myself trying to write like him. Or like the team of writers he employed to help him write. It doesn't matter, just buy the book and read it. Cover to cover. It is LOL funny. And I don't even read books. I think the last book I read in it's entirety was All Quiet on the Western Front back in 9th grade (that's grade 9 for you Canadians). Allow me to give you a sample of it's goodness in order to spur you onward towards it's eventual purchase and reading (From a chapter on the future, specifically regarding a future where Robots have become self-aware and enslaved mankind):

Hey Robot! Congratulations on the utter subjugation of the carbon based creatures following the Great Purge.

Here's a proclamation I want you to broadcast through your Hivemind to your android brethren:
The next sentence is false.
The previous sentence is true.

I'll wait while your heads explode.
Now, to the human who has picked up this book in wonderment, having pried it from the still-clenched hands of the Iron Master who just self-destructed:

You're Welcome.

I mean come on...that's funny. Please Mr. Steve do not sue me. Book quotes are ok when they are in positive reviews encouraging others to purchase your work, right?

In other news, I have done something that I have long dreamed of doing. I bought some stock in Apple. I made $11.00 today!

Bythaway, if you want to see something awesome, check this out.