putting the "bodily functions" back into "blog"

First of all, the requisite cuteness:

Just look at that 'tude!


Pigtails!


Now, to the business at hand:
Last weekend I was on call. Fact: being on call sucks on it's own.
I soon discovered that I had eaten something that my body really didn't like. I mean, REALLY. So much so, that...well, to spare you the details, let us say that said food was going to find it's way out of me by any means necessary. Wow...I so badly want to get into the nitty gritty details, but I'll save that for an email to specific parties so as to spare my grandparents and/or business relations that may, or may not, peruse this blog from time to time. [a propos: the other day I spoke with a canadian woman who spoke french with that elusive quebec accent. She said the french version of "from time to time" which is, oddly enough, "de temps en temps." Frenchy Frenchies say it like this: "deu tawns on tawn," but with her funny quebecian accent it came out "day tans ahn teh." Well sort of. Call me, I'll speak it for you.] So...(can't believe I didn't start this post with that) it was a rough evening. Fortunately some kind soul took pity on my and scored me some Reglan (metoclopramide) and I felt better...eventually.

Gross bodily function story numero dos:
I was "scrubbed in," as they say, to a surgery the other day, which means that they had run out of tables in the operating room and I had to crouch on the ground and the patient was lain across my back for the duration of the procedure. [joke] When one is scrubbed in, one is not allowed to touch anything outside of the "sterile field." Unfortunately one's masked face is outside the sterile field. This becomes troublesome when one has an itch, or say, when one's glasses slide off of one's face because one's daughter has stretched the bejeebers out of them. So this particular time, somebody told a joke and I let out my level IVa laugh which is simply a snort of air from the nostrils. Little did I know that a snot rocket had just finished it's pre-flight checklist and was ready for launch. Thus, I laughed a hunk of snot onto my, thankfully mask-covered, upper lip. But of course, I couldn't reach up and do anything about it, so I was forced to let it slowly slide and slither down along the crest of my lip and around to my chin before it nestled itself squarely on the chin-mask junction. 20 minutes later when the case finally ended I wrested the mask/snot complex from my disgusting face.

I am post-call right now. Prolly (R)* going to regret telling this story.


P.s. My brother has a car?!? What's next? A mustache? Done and Done.

*A registered trademark of Garcorp.