hodgepodge

So...there's this guy at the place where I work who wanders around mooing. Not like "moo" but actually like a cow sounds. It's exactly the same each time and repeats about every 3 seconds. It's strangely comforting to hear him wandering about.

In other news, not having my wife and child in town has seriously improved my Wii playing. I'm on song 35 of 42 on Hard. That's Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock. I thought Muse's Knights of Cydonia was impossible, but then I passed it. Little did I know what horror lay beyond. I'm pretty sure Raining Blood, made famous by Slayer is impossible. It's so hard, it's funny. And I'm not even trying on expert! What could possibly make it harder? Do razor blades shoot out of the fake plastic guitar and force you to play with bloody stubs instead of fingers? I will now do something that I would never have done were it not for this game: Post a link to this death metal song on youtube.

Funny, I always thought slayer was a Norwegian pop band made up of 6 blonde siblings.

Also, Super Mario Galaxy rules. A lot. I think I already put that on here. One sec. Yep. Sure did. Sorry about that.

Oh, gosh. Maybe I should announce the craziest news to hit me since I found that mummified yak in my garage. (Sorry, my humor suffers when I watch tv while I blog) We are moving to...

...

Let's see, I should do a Pete-style cluefest.

Hint #1) It's not Guam. As much as I'd like to move to Guam. Just so I could say Guam more.

Hint #2) It is a state who's 2-letter abbreviation is not the first two letters of the state.

Hint #3) The city's name is also that of a Country.

Hint #4) It is "the Shirt" in the chef inside the US*. Can you see it?


Hint #5) It start's with a C, ends with an I, and in the middle there's an Olumbiamissour.


That's right, we are moving to the "show me" state! I finally secured an actual Job! One that doesn't come with a "at the end of this year you're guaranteed to be unemployed again" clause! Righteous. We'll be there for the next 5 years (at least, I guess). The coolest part is the real estate. Those of you living in California may want to ignore the following for your own good. Click here, but come right back.

Ok, so I wouldn't want to live there, but come on. Gar has spent that on Macs over the last year!

In even more incredible news, last night I went to McDonalds. (Stay with me...) I ordered my usual 10-piece mcnuggets. (Wait for it...) When I got home I reached into the bag and pulled out...An effing Filet-O-Fish!!!! I didn't even know they still make that bleeding thing! A square hunk of highly processed FISH with a slice of AMERICAN CHEESE! What in the blue #&(@???? I think it was my first FOF ever. But I can't be sure, because my marms used to buy those puppies all the time. A piece of that filth may have made it into my gullet before I had reached the age of accountability. But I was hungry. So I ate it. All I can say is velveeta + tartar sauce = No wonder the French think we're schmucks. I love Wikipedia's account of this masterpiece:

The Filet-O-Fish contains a breaded fish patty made mostly from pollock and/or hoki (but also contains "left-overs" from various other fish [originally the sandwich was made with halibut]), half a slice of processed cheese and tartar sauce, on a steamed bun.

Also learned from Wiki: The FOF was created by a francise in Cincinnati because of declining sales on Friday due to the Catholic prohibition of eating meat on that day. This rule has apparently been lifted since. But don't take my word for it. Take Wikipedia's article dedicated to a sandwich at mcdonalds. (If I was a writer for the Daily Show, and felt like crossing a picket line, I would make a joke about "W" here.)

This post is almost complete. We need a pic.


Holy hell, I didn't mean for it to be so large. But this is too good. I'm going to leave it. Ewww.

Peace out.

*Minnesota=Hat, Iowa=Head, Arkansas=Shorts, Louisiana=boots. And I don't even want to know what Tennessee is doing.