The facial hair will be judged by an independent review committee at the start of the cruise. It will be judged on Awesomeness, Control, Shamefulness, and Poise.
Gentleman (and ladies?!) Start your follicles!!!
Friday, December 29, 2006
Contest
ANNOUNCING the 1st Quasi-Annual Pre-Cruise Facial Hair Contest. Ok, so bill's got a bit of a head start, but I think we can all come up with something novel. Anyone who will be on the cruise may enter. Here's what I've got going on so far:
The facial hair will be judged by an independent review committee at the start of the cruise. It will be judged on Awesomeness, Control, Shamefulness, and Poise.
Gentleman (and ladies?!) Start your follicles!!!
The facial hair will be judged by an independent review committee at the start of the cruise. It will be judged on Awesomeness, Control, Shamefulness, and Poise.
Gentleman (and ladies?!) Start your follicles!!!
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Mr. Mom: this is the bomb.
Christmas came and went in a flurry. Or with a fury. Something like that. A great time was had by me, on the whole, and I can't believe I'm back home again. Side note: there is nothing like vacationing to make one appreciate one's home. I love my house. I really don't want to move. Can't everyone I care about just move out here?
2 nights ago I dreamt that I bit my black cat's head off. Then a doctor tried to put it out of it's misery, because of course it was still alive, and he did so by pouring 1 liter of diet coke down it's neck. Of course, the cat's body had now become transparent and I could see the diet coke causing his heart to go into failure. But the cat wasn't dying and I kept trying to think of a good reason why I bit her head off, but there wasn't one. [cukoo!]
Staying home with a baby is so awesome for the following reasons:
1) I never have to shower
2) I never have to shave
3) When she's asleep, I can do ANYTHING!
4) See reasons 1 through 3.
Also of note, being sick is a nightmare. I don't remember being this sick for a long time. It is miserable. Scratch that, I am miserable. It came to a climax on Christmas, quite fittingly, and it seems to be settling down now.
And now for some pictures:
***NEW & IMPROVED Baby Sit-up Chair! Now you can place your infant in a room and FORGET ABOUT THEM!
Lucie loves Roberto
Gar took one look at this pic and then did the following:
Gorgeous.
My child hates Satan...I mean Santa. Well, I guess both, maybe? Yikes, I'll stop now.
Here is what sickness looks like.
Brook spelled without an E remained calm while Gar went LOCO.
Poor Fat Christmas Lucie pinned in her sit-up chair.
Lucie opens a present! It was a book by madonna, and signed by Madonna(?!?)
Just don't ask. Ok, ask. So this is me working on a star wars Lego Set graciously bestowed upon me by my mother-in-law. You may also notice that I have an LED headlamp on and that I'm delirious with sickness and fatigue.
This is what happens when I leave my camera out.
This is what happens when babies drink Red Bull. P.S. This pic was taken at 2 in the a.m.
P.P.S. Just kidding about the red bull.
P.P.P.S. The baby is awake [three dots in a triangle] this post is over.
2 nights ago I dreamt that I bit my black cat's head off. Then a doctor tried to put it out of it's misery, because of course it was still alive, and he did so by pouring 1 liter of diet coke down it's neck. Of course, the cat's body had now become transparent and I could see the diet coke causing his heart to go into failure. But the cat wasn't dying and I kept trying to think of a good reason why I bit her head off, but there wasn't one. [cukoo!]
Staying home with a baby is so awesome for the following reasons:
1) I never have to shower
2) I never have to shave
3) When she's asleep, I can do ANYTHING!
4) See reasons 1 through 3.
Also of note, being sick is a nightmare. I don't remember being this sick for a long time. It is miserable. Scratch that, I am miserable. It came to a climax on Christmas, quite fittingly, and it seems to be settling down now.
And now for some pictures:
***NEW & IMPROVED Baby Sit-up Chair! Now you can place your infant in a room and FORGET ABOUT THEM!
Lucie loves Roberto
Gar took one look at this pic and then did the following:
Gorgeous.
My child hates Satan...I mean Santa. Well, I guess both, maybe? Yikes, I'll stop now.
Here is what sickness looks like.
Brook spelled without an E remained calm while Gar went LOCO.
Poor Fat Christmas Lucie pinned in her sit-up chair.
Lucie opens a present! It was a book by madonna, and signed by Madonna(?!?)
Just don't ask. Ok, ask. So this is me working on a star wars Lego Set graciously bestowed upon me by my mother-in-law. You may also notice that I have an LED headlamp on and that I'm delirious with sickness and fatigue.
This is what happens when I leave my camera out.
This is what happens when babies drink Red Bull. P.S. This pic was taken at 2 in the a.m.
P.P.S. Just kidding about the red bull.
P.P.P.S. The baby is awake [three dots in a triangle] this post is over.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Did somebody say Pulitzer?
Geez, I wish I'd thought of something meaningful to say: Front Page of today's Deseret News.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
oh me
So the other day I lost this:
In one of these:
So I can no longer do this:
Which sucks these:
However, I am here:
Where it looks like this:
And not like this:
And last night I got to drive one of these:
So I shant complain any further.
And now for some cellphone pics that have gotten needlessly backlogged (in reverse chronsylogical order):
This was a sweet learjet that flew through the denver airport.
Oklahoma just so happened to get their "one big snow day" of the year the day before I arrived.
This is me in the middle of taking the second part of the boards.
The grammar nazi in me didn't like this signage.
For some reason I set my cell phone camera to "crap" during my last trip to LA. Hence the "quality" of the following pics.
[cue the dragnet theme]
Laur-laur and I had a business meeting with Jay Leno and Courtney Love.
Following the premiere of my first film, "Bad Karma."
Back in maryland, war of the worlds style attack on a university building. Whoa, I choose not to believe that no one has made a war of the worlds-craft joke yet.
My sister saw this one and said, "oh yeah, you guys still have cats!"
Abs as dorothy. So cute.
Zack-yoda: using the force to get his mcFlurry.
Completely impossible to see, but trust me, this is a guy with a leaf blower on the windiest day I've ever seen.
And lastly, please notice this pimpalicious ensemble near the Baltimore VA.
Thank you, and I'll be here all week. Quite literally.
p.s. this post was EXHAUSTING.
In one of these:
So I can no longer do this:
Which sucks these:
However, I am here:
Where it looks like this:
And not like this:
And last night I got to drive one of these:
So I shant complain any further.
And now for some cellphone pics that have gotten needlessly backlogged (in reverse chronsylogical order):
This was a sweet learjet that flew through the denver airport.
Oklahoma just so happened to get their "one big snow day" of the year the day before I arrived.
This is me in the middle of taking the second part of the boards.
The grammar nazi in me didn't like this signage.
For some reason I set my cell phone camera to "crap" during my last trip to LA. Hence the "quality" of the following pics.
[cue the dragnet theme]
Laur-laur and I had a business meeting with Jay Leno and Courtney Love.
Following the premiere of my first film, "Bad Karma."
Back in maryland, war of the worlds style attack on a university building. Whoa, I choose not to believe that no one has made a war of the worlds-craft joke yet.
My sister saw this one and said, "oh yeah, you guys still have cats!"
Abs as dorothy. So cute.
Zack-yoda: using the force to get his mcFlurry.
Completely impossible to see, but trust me, this is a guy with a leaf blower on the windiest day I've ever seen.
And lastly, please notice this pimpalicious ensemble near the Baltimore VA.
Thank you, and I'll be here all week. Quite literally.
p.s. this post was EXHAUSTING.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
As promised
With the visiting fam, we visited the NEW and IMPROVED air & space museum out by Dulles (pronounced "duels") Airport. It was 18 times cooler than I expected, and I expected it to be cool.
Exhibit A:
Blur fest photo of Josh's favorite plane as a kid, the SR-71. This thing flew from LA to DC in just under 2 1/2 minutes.
Ok, not really, but it was fast.
A better view of said aircraft. Dang, look how flippin' sweet it is!
A little concord action for y'alls. Grampy Neals was on one of these bad boys.
This is the Enola Gay, which as you probably know, was the first openly homosexual aircraft in the US Airforce.
Man, maybe I shouldn't joke about the plane that dropped the old hiroshima express. Yeah, probably not. [clears throat uncomfortably]
This is called Le Shuttle d'Espace. This one, sadly, never made it to space, but was used in high atmosphere drop/landing runs. Which makes it Ok in my book. Plus it was called the effing Enterprise for crap's sake, how much more cool do you need?
How about this much cool: the back. These were not actually functioning boosters, which I guess subtracts from the cool.
Introducing the progeny to all things awesome early on is a critical point in the Josh Holyoak School of Parenting.
p.s. I am currently drinking Martinelli's straight from the bottle. It's fun to be a pretend wino.
p.p.s. Did you know that wino was spelled like that? I sure didn't. Gosh, how rediculous am I?
Exhibit A:
Blur fest photo of Josh's favorite plane as a kid, the SR-71. This thing flew from LA to DC in just under 2 1/2 minutes.
Ok, not really, but it was fast.
A better view of said aircraft. Dang, look how flippin' sweet it is!
A little concord action for y'alls. Grampy Neals was on one of these bad boys.
This is the Enola Gay, which as you probably know, was the first openly homosexual aircraft in the US Airforce.
Man, maybe I shouldn't joke about the plane that dropped the old hiroshima express. Yeah, probably not. [clears throat uncomfortably]
This is called Le Shuttle d'Espace. This one, sadly, never made it to space, but was used in high atmosphere drop/landing runs. Which makes it Ok in my book. Plus it was called the effing Enterprise for crap's sake, how much more cool do you need?
How about this much cool: the back. These were not actually functioning boosters, which I guess subtracts from the cool.
Introducing the progeny to all things awesome early on is a critical point in the Josh Holyoak School of Parenting.
p.s. I am currently drinking Martinelli's straight from the bottle. It's fun to be a pretend wino.
p.p.s. Did you know that wino was spelled like that? I sure didn't. Gosh, how rediculous am I?
Cos and Affect
I was invited this morning to a dinner at a nice restaurant. The invitation indicated "Causal Attire."
Awesome.
Awesome.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
coming soon
pics of totally sweet airplanes, the whole fam-damily, and possibly a celebrity.
Please stay tuned.
Please stay tuned.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Merry Christmas!
The Bridge School Benefit extravaganza has finally made it's glorious way onto iTunes (see over here----->).
It was perfectly timed with my birthday iTunes money having already been squandered. Oh well, there's always the Discover Card®.
The other day in Albania I was lost and wondering around in the early morning dressed in a suit for my interview. I asked a random dude outside for directions and before answering he asked me, "Hey, are you Mormon?" I was totally taken aback for a few seconds. "Yes," I said. Then I realized it was because of my garb and I said, "oh, but that's not why I'm dressed like this. I have an interview. But, I just so happen to be mormon." It was funny and strange.
There was another story that I was so excited to put on here, but it is currently escaping my consciousness.
I'll let you know.
***UPDATE***
Perhaps the best song on the whole Bridge School Offering, Cortez the Killer with DMB and NY, the performance of which I happened to witness live in the flesh, is among the 2 songs out of the set of EIGHTY (!) that are album only. Oh Cruel Fate! Why curseth me thou so! Well, I actually already have a bootleg copy of the song, but it sounds like it was performed underwater, processed on a memorex 90 minute cassette that had been left in someone's stinky Saturn Ion on a hot San Jose day, then routed via satellite to the moon and bounced back, and picked up by grandma bertha's miracle ear. Balls. Balls. And...Balls.
It was perfectly timed with my birthday iTunes money having already been squandered. Oh well, there's always the Discover Card®.
The other day in Albania I was lost and wondering around in the early morning dressed in a suit for my interview. I asked a random dude outside for directions and before answering he asked me, "Hey, are you Mormon?" I was totally taken aback for a few seconds. "Yes," I said. Then I realized it was because of my garb and I said, "oh, but that's not why I'm dressed like this. I have an interview. But, I just so happen to be mormon." It was funny and strange.
There was another story that I was so excited to put on here, but it is currently escaping my consciousness.
I'll let you know.
***UPDATE***
Perhaps the best song on the whole Bridge School Offering, Cortez the Killer with DMB and NY, the performance of which I happened to witness live in the flesh, is among the 2 songs out of the set of EIGHTY (!) that are album only. Oh Cruel Fate! Why curseth me thou so! Well, I actually already have a bootleg copy of the song, but it sounds like it was performed underwater, processed on a memorex 90 minute cassette that had been left in someone's stinky Saturn Ion on a hot San Jose day, then routed via satellite to the moon and bounced back, and picked up by grandma bertha's miracle ear. Balls. Balls. And...Balls.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Hah lay lou yah
I survived the Boreds. It's a miracle. Now if I only knew whether I passed or not. I'm currently in Albany, which it turns out, is the site of the landing strip for the alien invasion of 2014.
Exhibit A:
Exhibit B:
My own cell-pics to follow. Nuts.
tis a nice town though. I'm in line at the airport, waiting for the Southwest Cattle Call (R). Always a fun time.
I want to give a shout out to my homies in Schenectady. As well as Poughkeepsie.
P.S. I no longer have any responsibilities at all for the next 3 months. Well, unless you count raising a human being who depends upon me for her every need. And securing a job for the next 5-6 years. And playing lots and lots of video games. And all of the 38 projects I have filed under: "oh yeah, I can work on that awesome idea while I'm off in December-February."
Sweet.
Exhibit A:
Exhibit B:
My own cell-pics to follow. Nuts.
tis a nice town though. I'm in line at the airport, waiting for the Southwest Cattle Call (R). Always a fun time.
I want to give a shout out to my homies in Schenectady. As well as Poughkeepsie.
P.S. I no longer have any responsibilities at all for the next 3 months. Well, unless you count raising a human being who depends upon me for her every need. And securing a job for the next 5-6 years. And playing lots and lots of video games. And all of the 38 projects I have filed under: "oh yeah, I can work on that awesome idea while I'm off in December-February."
Sweet.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
T-minus my bowels
I am now 1 hour and 12 minutes from taking the boards. My bowels are all a flutter. I am hoping that they will settle as one is not allowed to leave one's seat during the boards without a Ninja SWAT team busting through the windows and slitting one's throat within 0.8 seconds. Seriously, imagine this happening in that small amount of time: it's funny.
Afterwards, depending on how retarded (literally and figuratively) I am, I must make great or small haste to the BWI airport and hoof it up to Albania Nueve Yorky for yet another interview. We are first meeting at a bowling alley (!) the night before for dinks and ice grem. But who cares, because at that point I will be devoid of responsibility for the forseeable future. Wait, was that enough e's? forseeeeable.
Alright, team. Wish this sorry sack some luck. Cause HE's Gonna NEED it!
And now for something completely differrnt:
No idea who this guy is, but the dude in the background looks like he's about to slay him with mind bullets.
Afterwards, depending on how retarded (literally and figuratively) I am, I must make great or small haste to the BWI airport and hoof it up to Albania Nueve Yorky for yet another interview. We are first meeting at a bowling alley (!) the night before for dinks and ice grem. But who cares, because at that point I will be devoid of responsibility for the forseeable future. Wait, was that enough e's? forseeeeable.
Alright, team. Wish this sorry sack some luck. Cause HE's Gonna NEED it!
And now for something completely differrnt:
No idea who this guy is, but the dude in the background looks like he's about to slay him with mind bullets.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Lamisil pills, for toe fungus
Man, Alec Baldwin was on SNL last week (in case you missed it) and he did a skit as Tony Bennett. If any or all of you have the thought, the will, and the way to watch it, I beg of you to check it out. Absolutely priceless.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Let's go to the movies...
Man, in the movie industries continuing efforts to disrupt my studying: Please review the preview for Smokin' Aces.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Bonafide
Um, yeah...so the new bond movie looks amazing. Check it out.
P.S. Buh-Duh-bwon...Buh-Duh-bwon......Buh-duh-buh-duh-duh........crrrrrrang!!!
Monday, November 13, 2006
they grow up so fast
I thought it was just my influence, but the above occurred while I was 2000 miles away.
I would like to congratulate peter on submitting the winning entry for the soul coughing contest.
New York New York I won't go back.
Indelible Reminder of the skills I lack.
I gave you seven years, what did you give me back:
A jaw-grind, disposition to a panic attack
nicely done.
So, the best part of Buffalo was upon arrival at the hospital, the secretary said to myself and 3 other candidates, "Gosh, I didn't know the Special Olympics was in town."
I about died laughing, even though I knew that she was referring to the fact that said organization was actually and in fact in town and not making a non-pc commentary on our general appearance.
P.S. Thank you to all of the universe who continue to supply me with limitless iTunes fundage. You have created a monster. A prize to the first to correctly identify the following song and artist:
Looking out
Across the night-time
The city winks a sleepless eye
Hear her voice
Shake my window
Sweet seducing sighs
Get me out
Into the night-time
Four walls won't hold me tonight
If this town
Is just an apple
Then let me take a bite
Friday, November 10, 2006
Continuing with the theme
A man cuts in half just like he snaps a pencil.
Khartoum is in the room
Phnom Penh is in the room
Pyongyang is in the room
Cairo is in the room
Khartoum is in the room
Phnom Penh is in the room
Pyongyang is in the room
Cairo is in the room
Monday, November 06, 2006
how did I forget about this?
And the radio man says it is a beautiful night out there. And the radio man says rock and roll lives. You live in Los Angeles and you are going to Reseda. We are all in some way or another going to Reseda, some day...to die. And the radio man laughs because the radio man somethings a model, too. Gone savage for teenagers with automatic weapons and boundless love. Gone savage for teenagers who are aesthetically pleasing, in other words "fly." Los Angeles beckons the teenagers to come to her on busses. Los Angeles loves love.
It is 5 a.m. and you are listening to Los Angeles.
It is 5 a.m. and you are listening to Los Angeles.
Dude!
They're [for all intents and purposes] giving away a 28-track Johnny Cash album for 7.99 on iTunes. What a glorious day.
Holy crap this is fun
I am dumping money on iTunes with reckless abandon.
You know, in my family, Neil Young receives a great deal of accolades, but I fear that the other Neil is far too often neglected and forgotton. Look how beautiful this man is:
And man, just check out these lyrics, recalling that the song is about a young boy's relationship with a space alien who turned a speak and spell into a satellite.
Wow, all of you go download this song immediately and sing along!
You know, in my family, Neil Young receives a great deal of accolades, but I fear that the other Neil is far too often neglected and forgotton. Look how beautiful this man is:
And man, just check out these lyrics, recalling that the song is about a young boy's relationship with a space alien who turned a speak and spell into a satellite.
Come back again
I want you to stay next time
Cause sometimes the world ain't kind
When people get lost like you and me
I just made a friend
A friend is someone you need
But now that he has to go away
I still feel the words that he might say
Turn on your heartlight
Let it shine wherever you go
Let it make a happy glow
For all the world to see
Turn on your heartlight
In the middle of a young boy's dream
Don't wake me up too soon
Gonna take a ride across the moon
You and me
He's lookin' for a home
Cause everyone needs a place
A home's the most excellent place of all
And I'll be right here if you should call me
Turn on your heartlight
Let it shine wherever you go
Let it make a happy glow
For all the world to see
Turn on your heartlight
In the middle of a young boy's dream
Don't wake me up too soon
Gonna take a ride across the moon
You and me
Turn on your heartlight now
Turn on your heartlight now
Wow, all of you go download this song immediately and sing along!
Ridin' fat on my dubs
So I gots my self all kinds of moulah for iTunes for my b-day thanks to GARBRO and mr. struart. I'm ashamed of my first purchase therewith:
Curse you, JoJo! With your hyperactively overprocessed voice and smackety-crack addictive hook chorus! Damn you straight to teen pop idol hell! *** You know it's just a little too late ***
Damn, it's a good song.
Curse you, JoJo! With your hyperactively overprocessed voice and smackety-crack addictive hook chorus! Damn you straight to teen pop idol hell! *** You know it's just a little too late ***
Damn, it's a good song.
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