in other news, my life has been a bit of a roller coaster lately. First of all, little Lucie is going to join us imminently. I am so excited, a bit stressed, and very anxious for her to get here. In the midst of this I went to the dermatologist a few weeks ago to have a mole removed, which for me is pretty much a weekly ordeal. This time however a few days later I got a call from my dermatologist himself asking me to call him back. Generally if a busy doctor is actually making phone calls himself, it's not to tell you, "just wanted to remind you to floss nightly." It turns out I had a bleeding melanoma. I mean "bleeding" in the british cursing sense and not in the literal english sense. Fortunately we (or I guess he) caught it very early. After some extra tests and a very long-seeming, nail-biting 2 weeks, everything looks normal. Although I have apparently bought myself a lifetime supply of dermatology appointments and sun screen. I really don't want to offend anyone who reads this with more serious health experiences. I realize that I had the "paper cut of cancers," but I'll tell you...my little livestrong bracelet holds a bit more meaning for me now. I had a few experiences while I was getting the whole diagnosis/prognosis thing squared away that I think will change me forever, and hopefully will make me a better doctor. At least a more empathic doctor. I probably need to physically read a book, or "listen" on rounds in order to actually become a better doctor. Some of you may recall the 1991 film the Doctor with William Hurt and that lady from Big. The movie is cheesy but I always loved it. Anyway, I kept thinking of it as I had crappy experiences as a patient. I'll just list a couple of them:
In a crowded waiting room trying to get a chest x-ray:
Secretary [loudly]: Wait, what does this say?!?
Josh [sheepishly]: uh, I just need a chest x-ray.
Secretary: yeah, but what is the indication? Mela...what?
Josh [whispering]: uh, I had a melanoma removed...
Secretary [shouting]: a MELANOMA???
Josh: [big eye roll] yeah...thanks.
Another fun moment:
Doctor's office discussing pathology reports
Nice doctor: You have a great prognosis: With this class of melanoma you have a 90% long term survival.
Josh [confused]: I'm sorry, 98%?
Nice doctor: [clears throat] 90%.
Josh [jaw drop]: Uh...ok.
Actually, from a second opinion the real number is probably more like 95% if not better. I realize that before this experience I would have thought that telling someone they have a 5-year survival rate of 95% would sound great, but you know what? It really doesn't. It sounds awful. In fact, 99% sounds awful. Any discussion of how many alternate universe versions of me will be DEAD in 5 years is NOT going to bring me any sort of comfort. I hope I don't ever forget that.
SO ANYWAY, as I said before now all the tests are back and everything was normal so I'm officially asking for all of my worldly possessions back, Mr. Homeless Man sir. Sorry.
Besides a bit of insight, I also scored a totally sweet scar from the experience. Wanna see? (Not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach):
Wow, that is far too large of a picture. Actually, I'm not sure which is more horrifying: the scar, or all of the remaining moles and hair. Or my haircut.
So that's been my "excitement" for the last bit. I suppose it might be cheesy to include some post-near-death "i love my family" stuff here.
I love my family.
And my friends.
And now for something completely different.
Saw The Lady in the Water. I liked it a lot. I probably would have had my usual unreasonably excessive adoration except that the suspension of disbelief was hampered by being constantly yanked back into the real world as my daughter attempted to auto-cesarean herself. Seriously, the bulge in my poor wife's abdomen was more than a little distressing. Let's get this baby born already! We video'ed the baby kicking her wait out of her mama's belly. I will try and youtube it...directly [in a southern gentleman's tone, not in Steven-the-network-administrator tone]
Sar: love you, can't wait to meet little man. Gar: can't wait to see you dude. Next week! Lar: I love you so much. I don't think you'll ever know how much.
Trauma is over. I survived (ha). I'm back on the Urology service now. It is very affirming. I feel really good about my career decision. The stuff I get to see everyday is pretty darn neato.
Ok, I believe this makes up for almost a week without a post.
Peace out.
p.s. the switchfoot album The Beautiful Letdown is awesome. ***Cheese Caution***: I really appreciate some sweet music with a general carpe diem motif in the lyrics. I found it very helpful. It allowed me to rock. hard. you should all download it and basque in it's hardcore cheesiness.
Take care folks.
p.p.s. I just reread my post and noticed that I spelled bask: basque. awesome.
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