The Shblog: Sir Psycho

Monday, October 23, 2006

Sir Psycho

Story #2 from the student learning center. So, I'm waiting for a free 'puter to check my email and I happen to see that some dude is emailing with some font for the visually impaired so as to be perfectly readable (aka legible) from across the room. I tried to stop but I couldn't help but read especially after reading the first line (imagine in huge blue font, and seeing the sketchy early forties dude pecking out 3 letters a minute):

Dear Mom,
I'm not in Baltimore.

Wait, what? Yes you are!

My friend invited me down to Florida and I'm staying at her house. It's about 80 degrees. I love it here.

Ok, this dude is a liar! And to his own mother!
He then proceeded to explain that he would get her back the money he owed her as soon as he could. He also kept writing "really and truly" and once even wrote "really and truly and honestly." He then said a bunch of stuff about being sorry and then started saying how much he loved her and how she was the only thing he needed in his life and that he was hoping she would have him back.
I'm sure you're all thinking that I'm a scumbag for reading this dude's email, but I couldn't stop myself. I finally got an open computer kitty-corner from this dude. And the next thing I know, I look up and he's typing the most vulgar email I've ever seen. We're talking the stuff of the movies you can only get in that corner room of the video store behind the curtain. It was gnarly. And also hilarious. I can't believe people actually write that stuff! And then it finished off with some real lovey-dovey "I love you so much and miss you terribly." Plus some misspelled words. I can only hope that sometime in the interim he stopped emailing his mother and moved on to some other person. Possibly a page from the House of Representatives.

P.S. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is perhaps the funniest t.v. show of the decade. Watch it. All of you. Gar, that means you. It's on FX, so there's even real cuss-werds!